


baby mine.

by AlwaysInSonder



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura's Queen of Altea because that's the proper ending, EWE, F/M, Kidfic, Post-Canon, Secret Lovechild, Side Verizavi, Suggestive Themes, Telenovela-levels of drama, angst & fluff, past allurance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2019-10-03 12:34:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 34,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17284163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlwaysInSonder/pseuds/AlwaysInSonder
Summary: As soon as the little girl disappeared behind the door, and Katie closed hers, Lance cleared his throat. She refused to meet his eyes. He had the ultrasound picture in his hands, there was fury in his eyes, he knew.“So..." he began, looking down to the ultrasound in his hands and finally up at her. "When were you going to tell me about my daughter?”





	1. dry your eyes

**Author's Note:**

> For [Air](https://superpotatesme00.tumblr.com/), who'd rekindled my love for Plance with their beautiful art! ♥

“Can I get you anything else, hun? A coffee maybe?”

Katie jumped and the waitress smiled serenely at her, gesturing to the pot in her hands. She looked pointedly at the glass of tepid water Katie had been nursing for the past half hour. Katie's mouth watered as the aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafted her way. The invigorating scent settled the unease in her stomach and she almost agreed -  if only to chase her away - but she remembered herself.

“Uh... orange juice?” She wanted to finish the order with just that, but her stomach decided to make itself known then. She flushed, reaching down to rest her hand over her belly. Her bad eating habits had to go if she was following through with this. She glanced over to the food display and quietly eliminated the ones with deli meats. “Maybe a cucumber sandwich too.”

“Sure thing, sweetheart.”

Her leg shook nervously beneath the table. She checked the time on her phone again; he was running late. She sighed and leaned back into her seat, her hand still over her belly.  She wasn’t too eager to eat - not since her stomach decided to empty itself whenever she fed it. Her mother had told her to avoid caffeine, raw fish and other items she’d been too fuzzy-brained to take note of.

She’d bought a book on impulse on her way to the diner. It was sitting on the display of the bookstore innocuously, but it felt like fate was mocking her. As much as her fingers itched to devour it right then and there, she securely stowed in her bag, away from prying eyes. Giving the diner a cursory glance, she dipped into her coat pocket and pulled out a small, square picture. Her thumb caressed over it’s glossy edge, but spotting the waitress returning with her order from the corner of her eye, she quickly slipped it back into her pocket.

“Freshly squeezed orange juice and a cucumber sandwich,” the waitress smiled as she set down the plate before her. With a wink, she slipped a chocolate muffin wrapped in a napkin to her side. “Don’t be afraid to treat yourself once in a while, mama.”

Katie blanched. She stared at the muffin and back up at her but she had already turned to the table behind her to serve new customers. She shakily reached for the juice and gave it a tentative sip. If a _complete stranger_ could tell, what were the chances people who knew her could as well?

The citrus scent was welcoming, and her stomach didn’t immediately recoil as she took a more generous gulp. Unconsciously, her hand drifted to her belly again just as the anxiousness in her heart returned with greater fervor. Katie took in a deep breath, reminding herself that the stress was no longer just going to affect her.

The bell over the front door jingled and she sat up straight. Upon seeing a random old man greeting the waitress, she slumped back into her seat with an annoyed sigh. Did he forget? She reached for her phone again and checked the time. He was nearing _forty_ minutes late now. Usually, she would be the one who was late - but she was never _this_ late. As she took another gulp of the juice, the door opened once more and she choked.

“Pidge! I’m _so_ sorry! Allura needed some help with things and it took longer than I expected.”

"It's fine," she replied primly. She reached for the napkins and hastily wiped the juice off her chin and the table, ignoring the sinking feeling in her heart at the mention of his girlfriend’s name. He looked curiously at the food and slipped into the booth across her.

“Are you on some weird diet?”

Her eyes widened and she felt her heart stop. She might as well be wearing a sign on her head. “No,” she sputtered, mentally cursing her immediate instinct to lie. There was a reason she brought him out here and as much as she wanted to chicken out now, he needed to know. Her mother’s voice rang clear in her head in place of her conscience.

_“There’s no way around this Katie. You will have to tell him. It’s his right to know.”_

_“He’s back together with Allura! It’s the_ last _thing he needs to hear.”_

_“You’ve made your choice. Right now, it’s not about you nor him. It’s about the little one there.”_

She’d looked pointedly at her belly, as though to emphasize her point. But her mother was right; Lance had the right to know. She finally lifted her eyes to appraise him - he looked particularly excitable that morning.

“Actually...yes.”

Lance was distracted with trying to get the waitress’ attention but turned back to her with a wide, handsome smile. “What was that?” Her stomach flipped and she wasn’t sure if it was the nausea she’s had since waking that morning, or him. Either way, she pursed her lips and shook her head.

“Anyway, Pidge, I have something to-”

“Lance, I need to-”

They both paused and she looked up at him curiously. Lance tilted his head.

“You first.”

“Nuh uh, you spoke first.”

“You called me here first!”

“Well, I want to hear _you_ first!”

“ _Pidge_ , just spit it out already.”

His voice softened and his eyes were so gentle on her; his concern obvious. She didn’t know why she was ever worried in the first place. It was not like Lance was the type of man to abandon a woman - least of all, his best friend. A glint caught her eye and she stared down at his hand. There, on his left ring finger, was a silver ring that she’d never seen before. Her heart froze over.

Lance flushed, noticing her stare and twisted the ring nervously. “It was what I needed to tell you today. Allura and I eloped over the weekend.”

Her stomach churned and Katie locked her jaws, willing herself not to spew in front of him. She forced a smile, praying that she didn’t look as weird as she felt, but hid a grimace into her glass as she took another sip of juice. It explained why all her calls didn’t go through, he was busy getting hitched.

She realized too slowly that he was looking expectantly at her and perked up immediately to inject fake cheeriness into her voice. “Oh, um, congrats! I…I didn’t expect that.”

He laughed heartily at that and she averted her eyes before he could see them mist over. “Well, neither of us did! It really was a spur of the moment type of thing, y’know? We figured we _had_ to be in love if we kept coming back to each other and we just really wanted it to work this time. And, well...bam.” He lifted his hand to point at the ring.

“I’m happy for you guys,” she offered, another strained smile on her lips; probably first of many to come. 

 _Married?_ There was absolutely no quiznacking way she could tell him now.

Lance waved his hand dismissively and the glint of the ring made her sick to the stomach again. She hid her retch with a cough into a napkin. Unfortunately for her, it didn't escape his attention. “Are you okay? You look a little pale,” his brows furrowed and before he could feel her forehead, she swatted his hand away.

“I’m fine!” she grumbled. She felt him hesitate across her, but seeing the dark expression on her face must’ve made him rethink asking her again.

“So...what was it that you wanted to tell me?”

Katie gulped and her grip on the glass tightened. Her other hand drifted to her pocket again and her thumb caressed over the glossy surface while she forced her brain to spit out a solution.

“I’m...moving.” Perfect. It was the absolute truth and big enough news to warrant telling him.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, to live closer to my parents.” He didn’t need to know why; he had no place in her life anymore. He was building a new life - on a whole other planet, no less - with someone else.

“That’s great! And I guess you need help with moving and all that? Hunk and I got you covered!”

Even if she did need help with moving, - which she _didn’t_ as most of her things were already in her new place - Lance would be the last person she would ask it from. Not when her mother had already dragged out her old cot from the basement and began picking out designs for the nursery.

Thinking of her mother set off the small, annoying voice in her head again, begging her to tell him. But before she could part her lips, he spoke again.

“And that makes the two of us then,” he continued with a sheepish laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “Allura wants us to move to Arus. She wants the official wedding to be on the same week as the opening of Altea City.”

She knew she had gone too silent as the smile on Lance’s face dropped. His hand slowly reached out - his right hand, mercifully enough - and rested over hers. “We’ll visit often,” he promised, his voice softening. “I’d miss my best friend and my whole family; I can’t stay away too long!”

“Yeah,” she forced a weak laugh, the ends of her smile struggling to keep up as her other hand moved discreetly out of her pocket to rest protectively over her belly. Her heart thudded in her chest and tears had begun to cloud her vision. She blinked them away quickly.

“We’ll miss you.”

* * *

 

Katie watched her mother rub her temples tiredly. Colleen sat heavily on the couch before her, resting her palms over her eyes.

“I still think you should tell him,” she sighed finally. “But I understand why you’d hesitate now.”

Katie shifted uncomfortably before her mother. “Are you...mad at me?” she asked, feeling oddly childish in asking something like that. Her mother had always been proud of her and her accomplishments. Even her biggest ‘blunder’ - sneaking into the Garrison after running away from home - didn’t earn her disappointment. At most, she’d been frightened she’d lost another family member (grounded her for a year when she was far too old to be grounded) but she’d never expressed disappointment.

“Mad? No, of course not.” She lifted her head to give her a sad smile. “I just...I just wish things were easier for you. It’s not easy being a single mother, especially when you’re so young.” She stood up and headed towards the kitchen. “ _Not_ that it’d be hard. You have me, your father and I suppose Matt as well, to help you,” she called from the other room.  Katie heard her rummaging around the cupboards and finally return with a bottle of pills in her hands. “Here, I forgot to hand you these the other day. They’re prenatal supplements.”

Katie quietly inspected the bottle in her hands as her mother sat back down. She didn’t even think of something like this; she needed her mother a lot more than she anticipated. Her eyes flicked upstairs where she heard the shower turn on. Her father was at work and her brother was in the shower. Nevertheless, she dropped her voice. “I...kind of don’t want to tell Dad and Matt who the father is.”

Her father had took the news of her pregnancy as she had anticipated; worried for her, tense but all in all, calmly acceptive of the situation. Her brother, on the other hand, demanded to know the exact coordinates of the baby’s father to which she’d meekly responded she’d been too drunk to remember. Matt didn’t buy it at all. She had good reasons to want to keep him a secret - the both of them could walk into Lance at any time in the Garrison or during Coalition meetings. She didn’t even want to _think_ of the kind of confrontations that can arise from that. Her eyes cautiously looked over to her mother to gauge her reaction. Her lips had pressed into a thin line - not a good sign.

“Sweetheart, the _worst_ thing your father can do is leave the room in a huff. If Lance is supposed to be afraid of anyone it’s your brother and _me_.” Her mother sighed and leaned back against her seat. “But you should tell your brother soon. While he’s still here, at least.” Her mother ran a hand through her short hair. With a slight ache in her heart, Katie noted the streaks of grey between her mother’s brown locks.

“I don’t think I can tell Matt _especially-_ ”

“Tell me what?”

She froze as Matt descended down the stairs, a towel slung over his shoulder and his long hair wet. Seeing him out of his rebel gear and in an old _Star Wars_ shirt and sweatpants was strangely jarring.

“Tell me _what_ Pidge?” The crease between his brows deepened and she gulped. Her mother gave her a look that told her she was on her own for this one. Matt, someone she’d known as her infinitely patient big brother, was clearly not that man he usually was at that moment.

“So... you _do_ know the father?” The edge in his voice told her that he already suspected who it was, and probably did for a long time. “How long were you going to keep it from me?”

“It’s not important.”

“Pidge, this moron impregnated you and left you to fend for yourself.”

“‘Fend for myself-’ _Quiznack_! I’m not a helpless damsel Matt!”

“ _Enough_! The both of you,” her mother sighed, moving to stand between them. “Katie doesn’t need the stress and _again_ , the most important thing we need to consider is the little one’s well-being.” She turned to her son, her arms crossed while she gave him a pointed look. “That means no intimidation tactics _nor_ irresponsible use of the Coalition’s resources to stalk the father _and_ ,” she turned to her sternly. “No secrets kept within the family. _This_ family.”

Matt kept his gaze on her and she shifted uncomfortably. She’d never seen her brother this angry before. Her mother tilted her head forward, giving her an encouraging nod.

“It’s...Lance.”

Matt closed his eyes and took in a heavy breath as though to calm himself. For several moments, he was so silent that Katie almost wished he’d yell instead.

“I'm not attending that asshole's wedding,” he mumbled, tugging his towel off his shoulders to dry his hair.

“Matt, you have to!”

“No, I don't _have_ to. Do you honestly think I'm going to shake the hand of my future niece or nephew's father and _not_ want to pummel him for abandoning my baby sister?”

“I’m not a baby, Matt. I’m literally carrying one. And he can’t _abandon_ me when doesn’t know. It's not his fault! And need I remind you, it takes two to-”

Matt winced and waved a hand dismissively. “I do _not_ want to hear anymore about _that_. But Pidge, how the hell do you not see how fucked up this is?! You’re _willingly_ watching the father of your kid marry another woman?”

She bit her lip and hugged herself. Obviously, she didn’t enjoy it. The thought alone literally made her puke. But she didn’t have a choice on the matter. It’d bring more attention to herself if she refused to go and the _last_ thing she wanted was more attention.

“He’s still my best friend-”

“Oh for _fuck’s sake_ -” Matt pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m _definitely_ not going.”

 She rolled her eyes. “You have a seat in the Coalition’s Council, you can’t miss it.” She shakily seated herself back on the couch, feeling her knees go weak. Matt’s lips parted for a rebuke, but seeing her tired form must have made him rethink it.

 “I’m not going,” he repeated firmly, resolute in his tone. He wrung his towel in a way that she hoped he wasn’t imagining Lance’s neck, and made his way back up the stairs.

* * *

 

 

The day of his wedding marked the end of her first trimester.

As promised, her brother didn’t make an appearance, citing a small (imagined) conflict in the outer regions of the galaxies that needed to be resolved. Her parents attempted talking her out of attending, but it was to no avail. It’d be far too glaring if one of the paladins was missing and she’d already promised Lance that she’d be one of his groomswoman.

“C’mon Pidge! You won’t get food like this back on Earth!” Hunk dropped off a plate piled high with unfamiliar alien cuisine. If her senses weren’t completely out of tune and her palate not entirely reprogrammed to accept only citrus and peanut butter flavoured foods, she would have happily taken an experimental bite.

“I...Um, I feel a little nauseous. Probably the nunvil Coran made.”

“Uh oh, want me to-”

“ _No_ , no. I don’t need anything. I’ll say goodbye and turn in early.”

She felt Hunk’s concerned gaze on her back as she made her way to the small crowd that had gathered around to congratulate the newly weds.

Her nausea had escalated throughout the ceremony - through the loving gazes the couple gave each other, through their vows and finally their first kiss. Altean customs were followed next and beyond the exchange of juniberry garlands and the handing of Balmeran crystals, Katie’s mind had been too fuzzy to pay attention to any of it. As soon as the couple made their way back down the aisle, she’d discretely slipped away and bolted to the lavatories.

“ _Pidge_!”

Lance pushed past curious guests to watch the newly-crowned King of Neo-Altea scoop her up into his arms. She squeaked, feeling him squeeze her tightly to his chest. “You ran off after the ceremony. Are you okay?”

Somehow in all the fanfare, he’d noticed she had gone missing. He set her down gently, but his arms still firm around her. She was grateful for that, her feet were already angled towards the nearest exit. Katie bit her lip, wary of the eyes on them. She looked up, taking in the polished silver crown in his hair, Balmeran crystals glinting in the dim lights of the hall. Her eyes dropped to meet his and her heart throbbed painfully and her chest constricted.  
  
She looked over to Allura - Lance's _wife_  - and looked on as she dazzled wedding guests with her wit and practiced, regal charm.  She quickly averted her gaze to her heels. They pinched at her ankles and she’d wanted nothing more but to fling them into space and run away screaming. 

“Pidge?” his soft voice broke her thoughts and she blinked.

“Oh, sorry. I’m just...a little dizzy. I think I might call it a day.”

She was telling the truth too. The mere thought of getting back on her ship made her stomach turn. If she’d known pregnancy would give her motion sickness she didn’t have before, she would have sworn into nunhood.

Above her, she was sure Lance was frowning. "Should I get someone to-" 

"No,  _please_. I came on my own jet. I'll be fine." 

She lifted her head and met his gaze with forced confidence, giving him a wide smile. Lance's worried frown didn't ease, but she knew he relented when his shoulders slumped. He pulled her into another hug. “Take care of yourself, okay?” he murmured into her hair. Her eyes flooded with tears and she squeezed her eyes shut. She wanted to hate him so badly; it would have made not telling him a great deal easier.

“You too,” she whispered into his shoulder, feeling guilt for any feelings of animosity she held for him. He deserved none of it.  “I’m happy for you, Lance. I'll miss you so much.”

Lance chuckled and ruffled her hair lightly. “Why are you making it sound like we're not going to see each other anymore? When I get back, I’m _totally_ going to destroy your high score on Killbot.”

She laughed weakly in response, a tear escaping her eyes and sliding down her cheek. She hastily wiped it off. As soon as his arms loosened, Katie turned on her heel and disappeared into the crowd of well-wishers.

* * *

  
She couldn't fly her shiny new jet at break-neck speeds with her condition. After sending in her coordinates to the Garrison's teleduv, Katie curled up in her seat . Her mother was waiting for on the other end, ready to comfort her, she was sure. As she waited for the familiar blue ring to materialize before her, Katie rummaged through her coat, finding the ultrasound picture once more. 

Her hand caressed her still-flat belly and she allowed her tears to fall. She let the emotions she bottled up all these weeks flow freely, sobbing onto her console. It hurt. _Everything_ hurt. None of it felt fair and she had no one but her own cowardice to blame. 

After what felt like hours (in reality, was about fifteen minutes), her screen lit with a notification. Earth base had received her coordinates. She'll get a portal back home in five minutes.

"Hey little one," Katie sniffled, speaking down to her belly. "I'm sorry I couldn't give you a daddy." She brushed her tears away resolutely. "I...I don't know how to be a mom...but I promise I'll try my absolute best." She looked to the ultrasound again - one that she had wanted to hand off to Lance that day in the diner - and her thumb tenderly caressed over the blurred, white spot.

"Guess it's just you and me Peanut." 


	2. you're so precious to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning...this was posted at 4am. Please excuse any silly mistakes.

 

 

_Five years later_

 

“Dr. Holt, I have a _terrible_ headache.” 

Katie looked up from her work and raised an eyebrow. Her closest friend and her daughter’s favorite aunt, Nadia Rizavi, flopped dramatically onto one of the seats before her desk. 

“I’m not sure if you’ve realized it yet - in the seven or so years you’ve know me - but I’m not _that_ kind of doctor.”

Nadia ignored her and rested an arm over her eyes as though she was lounging against a fainting couch. “Just let me nap here for an hour. Griffin’s driving me nuts with these drills.” 

Katie sighed. Nadia tended to come by when she was bored but a certain sense of foreboding came over her for some reason.

As much as Katie valued her logically-inclined brain, there were times she’d come to rely on her intuition more; especially after becoming a mother. Now was no exception. Nadia wasn’t nearly as dramatic as she usually was and if anything, seemed to have sought her out for a very specific reason from how she was shifting in her seat restlessly.

“So,” Katie began, watching her carefully. The arm thrown over Nadia’s eyes lifted a fraction and Katie resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “What happened?”

“What do you mean? I’m just here to nap.”

Katie closed her laptop with a loud snap. This had to be serious. On any other day, Nadia would have jumped at the chance to gossip about whatever Garrison drama she’d witnessed. If she’s here ‘just to nap’, then there _must_ be something more serious and not-so-frivolous at foot.

“Did you get into a fight with Veronica?”

Her friend sat up immediately, her cheeks bright red as she frowned at her. “Of course not!” But, realizing Katie had trapped her, groaned and fell back into her seat. “Okay, you caught me. Something’s up, but no, we’re not fighting. For once.”

“What’s wrong?” Katie prodded, glancing over at her watch briefly. Her mother would have bathed Lu by now and was probably reading her stories. All assuming her little tyke was behaving of course.

“Well...it’s to do with Ronnie’s side of the family.” Katie sat a little straighter. “Something big’s gone down and it’s stressing her out. It’s just been weighing on me to see her like that _a_ _nd_... well-” Nadia gave her a side glance before reaching into her pocket for her phone. “You might want to have a look at this.”

Katie’s thoughts immediately went to a certain individual that decidedly wasn’t Veronica, and she felt a very real sense of fear. The worst possible scenarios raced through her mind and it wasn’t till her eyes landed on Nadia’s phone screen did she feel the tension leave her muscles.

 

**_Earth’s first Space Royal Files for Divorce! Arus-Earth relations in crisis!_ **

**_Trillion dollar Royal split! Earth’s Prince Consort Lance leaves Altean Queen for Mistress!_ **

**_Sordid romance between Queen of Altea and Galran leader confirmed?!_ **

 

“Nadia…” Katie sighed, handing her back the phone. “They run these headlines all the time.”

“Yeah, I know. Thing is...this time? There’s some parts of it that are true. Parts! The whole affair thing is rubbish but you probably know that already.”

Katie blinked. “Which...parts?” Nadia took her time to stand up, go over to shut the office door after glancing down the hallway both ways to check for eavesdroppers, to finally sit back down closer to her. Katie leaned a cheek on her hand, watching her friend’s antics with mild amusement.

“Okay, so remember how last year they had this public couple’s spat during that conference?”

“They were _stalked_ by the media, I wouldn't really call it ‘public’. They went out of their way to get privacy.”

Nadia waved her hand dismissively. “Yeah, yeah. But the point is, the split is _real_ \- has been for a long while. They just made things official now. They’ve filed the papers and everything.” 

“They’re...separated?”

“ _Divorced._  As of last month. Apparently, Lance got an apartment downtown and already moved in there but I don’t know if that part’s true.”

A better part of her knew not to be surprised by this, but she was. Lance and Allura’s marriage was a public spectacle and she couldn’t imagine the kind of pressure they had been under - playing the part of the perfectly happy couple under the scrutiny of the galaxies - and the indelible ties their relationship had to the Arus-Earth alliance with Lance as Earth’s ambassador. She didn’t want to think of what either one of them was going through.

Katie found her eyes drifting to the lone picture she had of him. It was a group photo taken right after they had returned victorious from the war many years ago. His grin was wide and he had an arm draped casually around her.

It’d been a while since either of them looked this happy.

“...Kat? You okay?” Nadia peered at her over the top of her glasses, brows furrowed in concern.

“Of course I’m okay. I’m not the one going through a very public divorce,” she said as she pointedly opened her laptop. She knew _exactly_ what Nadia was thinking about, but she was not about to entertain those thoughts. It was far too early for that.  

“You know...now that he’s-”

“Are you going to the mixer tonight?” she spoke up quickly. Nadia frowned at her, clearly not amused at her dodging of the topic but had the good sense to not press her further. She knew it wasn’t wise dragging it out much longer, especially since she was asking a lot from Nadia, but she wanted to buy herself some time.

“No. Ronnie’s avoids going to parties like that, especially now. She always gets hounded by people. Y’know, for the wrong reasons. We're having a date night instead.”

“Right,” Katie stretched, standing up. “Well, I’m going to put Lu to bed before the party. Wanna come?”

“Do I wanna come kiss my wonderful niece goodnight? God, Kat. Of course I’m coming!”

As she gathered her things and Nadia jumped up, Katie paused for a moment and turned to her friend. “I'm...sorry. I know I don't have excuses now but I need some time. I'll tell him when I'm ready and then Veronica myself. I promise.” Telling Lance's family was what scared her the most. It even kept her up many nights, the thought that she was keeping her baby from an entire family made her sick to the stomach, but she had to do what she had to do. “You know I never wanted you to feel like you have to lie to your wife. I just-”

“Katie, _please_. Not this again.” The glowing smile Nadia had at the thought of meeting her niece dimmed and she glanced down to her shoes. “You're in a tough spot,” she sighed. “I'm sure Ronnie will understand...eventually.”

 

* * *

 

 

“ _Have you got all your things?_ ”

“Yeah, Coran helped me organize. You don’t have to worry about me dropping in at a bad time to get my razor or something,” he winked. On his screen, Allura rolled her eyes and shook her head.

_“You do know you’re always welcome back at Arus, Lance. You’re still a member of-”_

“It’s _fine,_  Allura.” He wanted to say it wasn’t fine, but he knew himself. It was not like he hadn’t seen this coming. He admit though; of all things, sitting in the dark, on the floor of his new ‘bachelor’ pad while talking to his ex-wife was something he could never have saw coming. “I missed Earth and my family. I can't wait to see them again. A pilot position opened up at the Garrison too, so I didn’t want to miss out on that.”

Allura nodded in understanding. _“I’m glad. You did miss piloting. But Lance...how did your mother take the news? Please be frank with me."_ Her voice took on a more serious tone - one that told him she wasn’t going to tolerate his natural tendency to goofiness in tense situations like these. He sobered up quickly.

“As well as she could," Lance ran a hand through his tousled hair. His mother was understandably upset, but Allura didn't need to know that. "You should visit her soon, she’s telling me I need to win you back at all costs and that her _ropa vieja_ might help with that.”

Allura laughed lightly at that and he smiled at the rare moment of levity they could share. _“Tell her I will, I miss her and her delicious food dearly...but it’ll have to be when I’m done mediating the Xratian conflict. Give her my love.”_

Lance’s smile faltered for a second, but he gave a nod. There were worse ways to end a marriage and Lance was just grateful that Allura and he had found a middle ground. They were having their most civil conversation in years and he wasn't about to ruin it. After talking more moving logistics, he said his goodbyes and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

It was official now, he was a divorced man. A decade ago, a naive version of him would have hoped to be a father of two, working as a decorated fighter pilot for the Garrison at his age. Reality had other plans for him.

Even with his Voltron legacy, the Garrison could only offer him a cargo pilot position. It was not entirely a bad option and he knew he was five years too rusty to be immediately accepted as a fighter pilot, but it still felt like a slap to the face. Shiro had told him he 'just' had to apply himself - which, he guessed, meant proving himself - and Lance was _way_ past that stage. He was nearing his thirties, he thought he was done proving himself.

He was offered diplomacy roles - ones that paid well and were more cushy and decidedly the kind his younger self would have jumped at - but he wanted none of that. He wanted to be a pilot and he'll take any role he was given, humbling as they may be. 

Lance sighed heavily, looking about his surroundings. It was a relatively glitzy place but he was older now, _maybe_ a little wiser and a fancy apartment like this just didn’t do much for him. Especially when it held no family.

He leaned back against some moving boxes as he looked out the large bay windows. Plaht City was most beautiful at night. The skyline was never the same the rare times he visited. New buildings always added to it’s skyline - alongside brief flashes of jets zipping out towards the desert where the Garrison still stood strong.

The _Garrison._  He groaned and scrubbed his face tiredly. Shiro had told him there was a mixer that night and he was _not_ looking forward to it one bit. As eager as he was to get back to piloting, he wasn’t too eager to meet people. It was a weird feeling; half a decade ago, he would have called himself a people-person. He loved social events and jumped at any chance to surround himself with people. Now, the mere thought of being in a room full of people made his stomach turn.

At the very least, there was one thing -  _person -_ he looked forward to. He reached for his phone again and tapped to see Hunk’s old messages, scrolling all the way up till he saw the one of Pidge and her daughter. She was beaming proudly in the picture, a hand on her daughter's back while the child blew out the candles on her third birthday cake. She looked happy; something she wasn't around him.

It was an odd thing seeing people who were once his best friends become strangers. The last time he had properly spoken to Pidge - a full, normal conversation that didn’t end with her running off or one of his guards interrupting -  was at his wedding. Even then, he had this unexplained unease in his stomach when he set his eyes on her. She had looked pale, sickly and there was the odd look in her eyes - an emotion he couldn’t pinpoint to this day - that haunted him all through his honeymoon.

But even after the news reached them that Pidge was expecting, the unease didn’t go away. In retrospect, her unusual behavior made sense; she was going through morning sickness that day. The exotic food spread probably didn’t help her senses either. He would have understood if she had just told him that.

No, that wasn't just it. His instincts screamed at him that there was _something_ critical he was missing and it frustrated him to no end. It became a thought that nagged at him for years. Why was Pidge declining his calls? Why did she keep the pregnancy a secret for so long? Why couldn’t she tell him?

_Who was the father of her child?_

After giving birth, Pidge had very nearly turned into a recluse. She stopped attending conferences, saying that she couldn’t leave her young daughter alone; never mind that they had teleduv technology that made space travel more efficient than Earth’s public transportation nor that her retired parents could very easily take care of the baby.

No, he wasn’t bitter at all.

He turned to frown at his reflection on the windows. He certainly looked bitter. He also looked much older than his twenty-eight years - his eye bags were deep and already, much to his horror, fine lines etched between his brows.  He rubbed his eyes tiredly and pulled himself up, making his way to the bedroom to change.

 

* * *

 

 Lance regretted showing up to the mixer immediately. He _knew_ he was going to get stares, that there was going to be whispers whenever he walked into a room and people giving him odd looks. Never had he hated the tabloids more than he did now - and that's saying something. It was one thing to be safely sheltered in Altea City, far away from Earth’s gossip mills and its inhabitants’ judgy eyes, a whole other thing to directly confront it.

No, he didn’t have a mistress. If anything, married life had been depressingly lonely for him. No, Allura didn’t cheat on him. It _was_ true that Keith and her had a camaraderie that would make the most secure of spouses sweat, but he knew for a fact that she would never do something like that.

And _quiznack_ their divorce wasn’t, by any stretch of the imagination, worth a _trillion_ dollars. He had no ownership over Altea City, and neither did Allura. Nearly everything they owned, they owed to the Kingdom of Arus, who’d graciously taken in the colony Alteans into their home and gave them land to build Altea City. Even if he could, he’d never ask for anything and neither had Allura.

Allura stayed on in Arus; he moved back to Earth. That was all there was to it.

From the corner of his eye, Lance spotted two men by the bar who waved him over. He shot a strained smile in their direction, grateful to see some familiar faces. He sauntered over to them, hands tucked into his slacks. "How are we doing tonight? Been a long while since I've seen you guys."

He desperately racked his brain for names. He definitely knew them - he fought alongside them during the war - but the few shots he took back in his apartment were catching up to him. He hadn't planned on talking to people, even ones he knew. He was going to make an appearance, and then slip out when people were distracted enough. Already, his plans were muddled.

"Since Nadia's wedding, yeah," Ryan, he recalled, nodded, handing him a drink. Nadia, he remembered. It'd be weird if he couldn't even remember his sister's wife.

James (he was ninety percent sure that was his name) let out a low whistle as Lance downed it one gulp. Oh boy, how he missed Earth booze. He licked his lips and set the glass down. Ryan snorted and signalled for the bartender.

"Doing alright, man?" James's hand squeezed his shoulder. The bartender set him his refill and he downed it in two gulps instead. "...I guess not?" James sighed.

Ryan pushed a plate of finger food his way, nudging his shoulder. "You shouldn't drink with an empty stomach." But Lance wasn't listening anymore. His eyes caught a tiny figure threading through the throngs of people.

He scanned the crowd anxiously, his heart leaping with hope as a petite woman walked towards the center of the room. He straightened himself so abruptly, he nearly knocked a glass off the counter with his elbow - James’s lightning fast reflexes catching it before it could fall.

His throat went dry. She looked just as he remembered; hair chopped short, a few wisps framing her eyes. She was petite as ever, he noted with fondness, but no longer the lanky girl he’d always had a soft spot for. Unlike the people around her dressed in cocktail dresses and casual suits, Pidge wore her longline, orange Garrison coat, a white dress shirt with tailored black slacks. Her head was tilted up, talking to a tall, blonde woman he vaguely recognized. Ina, he remembered her name now.

“Ina! Katie!” James waved them over. Lance felt himself blanch and shakily adjusted his tie. He didn’t know, but his palms had begun to sweat; he didn’t even know they did that. For some inexplicable reason, he felt like he was a teenaged boy, about to meet his crush.

Blood rushed to his head as Pidge’s eyes found his. Quiznack, why did he have to be drunk when he saw her again for the first time in _years_? She gawked at him wide-eyed for a few seconds and stopped in her tracks, only a few feet between them. It had to be the closest they’d stood in years.

“Ina, I gotta go.”

“You have only just arrived. Were you not looking to, and I quote, 'Get absolutely fu-'"

"That's fine, Ina!" Pidge interrupted, her face turning red. "I just came by to see if they had food. I need to get back to work." Her eyes tore away from him and she turned on her heel. "I'll see you guys on Monday." Before Lance could even part his lips for a ‘hi’, she disappeared into the crowd of Garrison officers.

There was a certain panic in her eyes that worried him. It was not the first time that she avoided him; if anything, it was almost a guarantee that Pidge would find a reason to be anywhere else but near him. But this time, he had no royal guards keeping an eye on him. He had a small semblance of his normal life back and he was not about to take it for granted.

"I...Excuse me."

Lance knew the MFEs sensed the tense atmosphere between them from how Ryan and James went silent, but he could care less what people thought now. He expertly weaved past party guests, shooting a strained smile over his shoulder as a group of women called him ' _Prince Lance!'._ He spied a small figure pushing past waiters and into the hallway and he lunged forward just in time to grab the door before it swung shut.

"Pidge!" his voice carried down the hallway and and a passing group looked at him as though he'd grown two heads. Pidge stopped mid-jog - quiznack, was she _running_ from him? - and slowly turned her head. "Can we talk? Please?" He ignored the soft gasp and excited whispers from the group and took long strides towards her. Even if he'd only paced a few meters, he was winded. Pidge's feet shifted and he quickened his stride to grab her elbow before she could run off again. "Don't run, _please_."

"I have work to do," she grumbled, her fingers attempting to pry away his hand.

"I know, but it's been so long. Can't you just take the night off? Nearly everyone from the Garrison is in there except for you." Pidge looked everywhere but him and Lance's heart ached. What had happened for them to be like this? She gave another weak tug at his hand and he released her arm slowly. Just before she could jet off again, he pushed himself to say the words he'd struggled with for so long. "I miss you."

His words made her freeze and he allowed himself to feel a glimmer of hope. As she slowly tucked her hands into her coat pockets, turning to face him fully, Lance held his breath. He gulped as her head tilted up to meet his and her eyes finally met his. It struck him how womanly she looked. Even with her short hair now, he'd be a even greater dunce (than usual, at least) to mistake her for being a boy.

 "And?" Her tone was cold and flat; it made Lance's heart drop to his stomach. This was not how it was supposed to go. 

" _And_...I was hoping we could catch up? I'd love to meet your kid."  

Color drained from Pidge's face and she turned white as a sheet. She stared at him in a way that made him fidget. Was it inappropriate to meet a friend's child? But Pidge knew he loved kids and he thought the world of his nieces and nephews.  

"She's shy," Pidge stammered, avoiding his gaze and already taking a few steps backward. "She doesn't like meeting strangers."

She wasn't telling the truth. He remembered Hunk saying that Pidge's daughter, unlike her mother, was a regular chatterhound. As much as he wanted to prod her further, he knew he'd be stepping across an invisible boundary - one that wasn't present until five years ago on one fateful night.  
  
"Pidge I-"  
  
"I have to go," she pulled her hands out of her pockets and turned around. Before she could bolt, she collided head first with a pudgy midsection. A pair of glasses slipped from her pocket and clattered onto the floor, but she dashed off before Lance could point it out to her.

The man she collided into gave him a strange look and brushed past him; muttering something of spoiled royals and mistresses that made his skin crawl. He reached for Pidge's glasses and inspected them. It looked like they weren't prescription lenses and they certainly weren't her brother's old pair. It was brand new, retrofitted with a camera and active digital screens.

He tucked the glasses into his coat pocket. She was avoiding him, he was sure of it now. At least now, he'd have an excuse to visit her.

* * *

 

“You should probably call first,” Hunk advised, checking on his lasagna through the oven’s window. “Pidge isn’t home all the time and she doesn’t like it when people come in when Lu’s napping.”

Lance bit back a retort; as if Pidge would take his call. She hadn’t done so in years. Pidge had always been private with her daughter. So much so, Lance didn’t even know what she looked like. Hunk had managed to send him a picture once from her third birthday party but even then, the little girl was looking down at her birthday cake. All he knew about her daughter, was that she had a head full of dark curls and had olive-toned skin. The rare times he visited Earth and consequently, the Garrison, Pidge would find herself busy and disappear before he could even finish saying hello.

“How old is Pidge's kid again?”

“Four. She's turning five in a month.”

He nodded slowly and sat back heavily. Had it really been that long? For the longest time, he thought Pidge's child was three.

“Lucy, right?”

“Lucia,” Hunk corrected, plating the food and setting it before him. “Or Lu, for short.”

Lance stared quietly into the empty coffee cup before him, his fingers tracing over the Garrison logo printed on it’s side.  “You...wouldn’t happen to know why Pidge is avoiding me, right?”

Hunk shrugged. “She has a kid to look after and a full-time job at a research facility. Of course it’ll feel like she’s avoiding you, she's got a crap ton on her plate.”

“Well, where’s the asshole of a father who abandoned his kid?” Hunk froze at his words - at the severity of his tone, he guessed - but his friend merely lifted a shoulder and turned his attention back to plating their dinner. “We don’t know who’s the dad. She says she doesn’t know either.”

“Says?”

“What?”

“You said ‘says’. As if you don’t believe her. You’re telling me she _does_ know the father?” Lance frowned as Hunk gaped at him. He’d always been really bad at lying and Lance couldn’t help but feel a twinge of annoyance that people were keeping things from him.

“W-what?! Buddy, I’ve got no clue, okay? No one does. She’s just focusing on raising her little lady and she’s doing just fine. Great, if anything. Lu’s _incredible_.”

“At least you got to meet her.” Lance grumbled, ignoring the stab in his chest. The former yellow paladin looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there and Lance didn't blame him.

“Lance, look...you’ve been away a long while and she’s really just that busy. I’m sure you guys will meet soon. Shiro’s nephew is having a birthday party and I think she said she was going for that one.”

“When is that?”

“In two weeks.”

That was way too long for him. He was brimming with questions and sincerely speaking, if he’d fucked up in some way, he wanted to apologize to her. He should have sought her out when she disappeared the morning after Veronica’s wedding.

He sighed and shoved a forkful of lasagna into his mouth. As soon as the melted cheese and sauce hit his tongue, he moaned and dramatically dropped his fork. How he missed Earth food. Gooey cheese, garlic knots, _seasoning_ and pretty much anything his mother or Hunk cooked. Hunk grinned widely and scooped another slice for him.

“You’re skin and bones man, I’m going to fatten you up before you see your mom.” Lance frowned.

“What do you mean?”

Hunk’s eyes avoided his. “I’m sorry I sh-”

“ _Hunk_.”

Hunk shrugged and pointed to his own face. “Eyebags, hollowed cheeks and un-gelled hair? I mean, you always look great man but...you do look like you’ve been through a rough patch and I don’t think it’s because you haven’t been keeping up with your skincare routine.”

Lance glanced back down at his reflection. An awkward silence settled between them and it almost seemed like Hunk was holding his breath.

“How long are you staying here this time?” Lance started conversationally, hoping to clear the air and making sure to keep his tone light.

“About two months. Romelle’s here with me this time,” his best friend breathed in relief.

Lance's brow rose at that, but he just shoved another forkful of lasagna into his mouth. Two months was a longer time than he realized. A lot happened can happen in two months. He'd managed to destroy a perfect friendship just in the span of two months with a moment of weakness.

“Hey Hunk?” he began, shoving more portions into his mouth. Hunk scooped another serving for him, ignoring his refusals with the kind of scowls he’d only seen on his abuela when he refused food.

“Yeah bud?” 

"It's nice to see you again. _Really_ see you without guards between us. I really missed you." Hunk's eyes teared up and Lance gasped for air as his long-time friend pulled him into a bear hug. "Oof- Can't...breathe..."

Hunk sniffled and set him down. "You have no idea how much I missed you too. It's like you died!  Even if we were in the same room they didn't let me near you."

"Yeah, they were a little overboard with the security," Lance rubbed his neck sheepishly. "Since Allura and Keith signed that alliance four years ago, those small Galran sects that were rooting for Haggar kept sending us death threats. It was a weird time."

"So...I have to ask: are you still the Prince, King of Altea or whatever?"

"King _consort_. But no, not anymore." He really should not feel relief in saying that, but he did. Lance had been with Allura before their marriage long enough to know that being an Altean royal didn't entail a life of luxury. Yet, nothing in his life could have prepared him for those five years.

There were daily meetings with her advisers, allies, her people; long trips to distant galaxies to mediate conflicts. Their once-private dinners quickly became a slot for dignitaries to hold trade negotiations, breakfasts for Allura to make her rounds around the city to meet her people and lunch...he'd be lucky to even see her. People didn't come from the far reaches of the universe to see him and he was fine with that. He just had wished the universe could share his wife with him a little more.

Allura had always been loving and sweet, but she was tired most of the time and usually out like a light by bedtime before he could even ask how her day went. Even if she was only a few feet away, Lance felt like he talking to her from the other end of the galaxy. His temper flared more times than it should and Allura, understandably exhausted from solving the universe’s problems, quietly tolerated him.

It was what their marriage had reduced to - tolerance. They had simply put up with each other. Lance wished and tried the best he could to do more for her, but his hands were tied, his freedom restricted and his days filled with ribbon-cutting ceremonies and dinners with political figures. He wasn't even allowed to pilot; not since they'd found bombs attached to the engines of his personal jet.

It was a hard thing to admit to himself, but Lance eventually accepted that their marriage just wasn’t working. She had to save the universe; he had to go back home to his family.

"You okay, bud?" Hunk warm hand rested on his shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze. He managed a weak smile for his friend and nodded.

"Yeah. I'm good. I'm just glad to be back home."

 

* * *

 

Katie slowly opened the door to her daughter’s bedroom and couldn’t help the sigh of relief. Knowing that her daughter was where she was supposed to be, Katie felt the tense muscles on her shoulders relax and she stepped further into the dark room.

For a moment, she bought the act. Her little gremlin remembered to keep still this time, but in the dim light of the hallway, Katie spotted her smile.

“What are you doing up, baby?”

Lu's eyelids fluttered open and her little diva mocked a yawn. “Nothing mommy,” she said in her sweetest voice.

“Oh?” Katie tilted her head, biting back a smile as she noticed the rectangular lump underneath Lucia’s duvet. “Well, have you seen nonna’s phone? She can’t find it.”

“Nuh uh.”

“Lu…” punctuating her tone by folding her arms. A cute pout followed suit and her daughter surrendered the phone. Katie settled on the bed, looking over the phone. She’d been watching a recording of last year’s airshow again. “This again, Lu? Don’t you get bored of watching it over and over?”

“Never!” Lu exclaimed with a scandalized gasp.

Lucia had always wanted to be a pilot since she was two and Katie reasoned it had to be Nadia’s influence, but a small voice in her couldn’t help but think - even if it was practically _impossible_ \- that it was an inclination she’d picked up from her father.

Her father; the very one who was back on Earth now.

Katie knew she had to tell him at some point, but with each passing year, it became progressively difficult. Even if he was here now, with the media hounding him and watching his every move, there wasn't going to be a time that was right. But if Katie was being very honest with herself, she knew she was just fishing for excuses at this point.

She reached out and combed through her daughter’s curls, smiling gently as she rubbed her sleepy dark blue eyes. “Was the party fun, mommy?” she asked, yawning genuinely this time. Katie leaned forward to kiss her round cheek.

“No,” Katie pinched her cheek affectionately.  “I missed you too much.”

And it was the truth. Lucia was her whole world. Motherhood was something Katie had only briefly thought about, but the moment she held a newborn Lu in her arms, the infant screaming as much as her little lungs would let her, she knew she was a goner. Lucia had her mother wound around her tiny pinky.

Seeing her baby’s father again - and _so close_ \- had made her want to run away. She could still feel phantom fingers gripping her arm and she shivered, rubbing where he held her. A strange, irrational fear hung over her now and she was frustrated with herself for it. It was not like Lance - or most people for the matter - knew her secret and it certainly wasn’t the case that Lance was going to come and steal her baby.

 _Their_ baby, she corrected herself mentally. It was a thought she had to get used to, as selfish as she wanted to be.

“I should have come,” Lu yawned again, eyelids drooping. “But you won’t let me.”

“I know,” Katie chuckled softly. “But it was for grown-ups. I’ll bring you to Uncle Shiro’s party, okay? It’s baby Adrian’s second birthday. Remember him?”

“Mmhmm…” Lu hummed and burrowed herself further under her sheets. Katie stood up to tuck her in and gave her more soft, doting kisses to her forehead. For now, at least, she'll cherish having her baby girl all to herself.

“Goodnight, honey. You’re the love of my life.”

“You’re the love of my life too, mommy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took way too long, I'm sorry ;_; Penny for your thoughts? ♥


	3. little one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As per my usual fashion, posted late in the night. Ergo, please forgive any silly mistakes. I usually fix them as I see them. 
> 
> CW: Excessive drinking, unhealthy eating habits and negative self-talk. Also, Plance being mean to each other.

 

_“Busy day?” Lance asked as he set aside his data pad. Allura collapsed onto the bed and only groaned into her pillow in response. She shifted her head to look at him and gave him a weak smile._

_“As usual,” she said with a heavy sigh. “I’m just glad the day is over. That meeting with the Quxon leaders took_ ages _. As lovely as they are, I just wish they weren’t so chatty. I can barely think that late in the night. And goodness, you’d think diplomats would know to give reasonable notice before arriving- Oh no!” She sat up abruptly and looked over to him apologetically. “I completely forgot that we were supposed to have tea together! I’m so sorry Lance. I should have had Coran remind me-”_

_“Allura, relax. I knew about the Quxons.” He forced himself to smile and shifted forward to pull the sheets over her tired form. “It’s fine. We can always talk about it another day.”_

_“No,” she yawned, shifting her body back into the sheets and turning towards him so she could face him comfortably. “We should talk now. I know we won’t be interrupted at this hour. Well, assuming the sectors behave themselves.”_

_If the past two years taught Lance anything, it was that only one of two things happened this late in the night in Altea City. Allura sleeping through the night the moment her head hit the pillow, or her being roused by one of her aides to settle an emergency in the far reaches of the galaxy._

_That night, it seemed to be the former for Allura's eyes were already half-lidded. But she was turned to him this time and seemed to be paying attention. He gulped and gathered his senses. It was something that was itching within him for a long while now; he didn’t know if it could wait any longer._

_"I just...I wanted to know if we should talk about starting a family." As soon as he said it, he held his breath, averting his eyes down to his hands. When they were just dating, Allura and he had talked many times before about children. Well, he'd bring up children and Allura would laugh it off, saying it was far too soon for them to have such a conversation. Lance had done well in keeping it to himself for the two years they've been married, but even with the palpable, growing distance between him and his wife, he can't deny the strong urge in him to start a family._

_Allura had gone oddly quiet and Lance figured that she had fallen asleep as she usually does, but when he turned his head, he found her eyes wide and looking to the distance._

_"Lance..." his heart dropped at her soft tone. "You know I adore children, but we really shouldn’t be thinking about starting a family now. Are you forgetting what happened the last decaphoebe?"_

_“You’re right,” he mumbled, shifting down into bed, embarrassed to have brought up the issue at all. “I’m sorry.”_

_“Don’t apologize,” Allura smiled softly, a hand resting over his for a brief moment. The warmth lingered, but her hand pulled away before he could rest his own over hers. Instead, he ran the hand through his hair with a sigh, trying hard to disguise his disappointment._

_Ever since the guards had found bombs attached to the engines of his galactic cruiser, along with the occasional death threats sent their way, security had been tight to the point of being overbearing. He wasn’t allowed to pilot solo ships, he needed at least two guards to follow him everywhere and was made to wear a protective vest beneath his clothes whenever he attended social events. But he wasn’t really in a position to complain. If his security was tight, Allura’s was ten times more rigid._

_As he stared blankly up at the ceiling, the heaviness in his chest caught at his throat. He swallowed hard, quietly turning his head to see if Allura had fallen asleep. Sure enough, she was out cold. Lance reached to her side and pulled up the covers over her shoulders, watching as her exhausted form sunk into their bed._

_He allowed a few tears to escape his eyes before quickly wiping them away in frustration. He had no business being miserable. Allura was right. Bringing a child into a world where they’d constantly be bombarded with attention, threats and guards was not a life he wanted for his children._

_He cleared his throat and set his jaw, refusing to allow himself to dwell on the thoughts of holding a small bundle of joy away._

_His dreams of becoming a father just had to take a backseat._

* * *

 

His phone was vibrating again. Lance knew it was probably one of his family members, but he wasn't in the right state of mind to talk to them. He briefly considered switching it off and sleeping off the rest of the afternoon, but he realized his room was pitch dark. He sat up with a frown and looked out the windows, noting with alarm that the sun had gone down.

He thought sleeping past noon was bad; he'd slept past _sunset_. With no royal aides shuffling him about, he was pretty much listless and... aimless.

His phone finally stopped vibrating and he rubbed his tiredly. Since breaking the news to his family - and two weeks before their annual family visit as a married man no less - Lance, for the first time in his life, didn't want to see them. His mother, least of all.

He reached for his phone, wincing as the screen nearly blinded him with its brightness. He adjusted it down and scrolled through the dozens of messages left by concerned siblings and parents - all begging him to call. There was even a message from Hunk, with a thinly-veiled threat to contact his family or he'd drag him back to Cuba with his own bare hands.

Lance knew he was being an absolute ass to his family. He hated it, he hated himself for even allowing it to happen. But at that moment, he did not want to meet a single soul. He just wanted some peace and quiet.

His stomach rumbled loudly.

Peace, quiet and _food_.

His phone began vibrating yet again and this time, the screen glowed with a picture. There was a pull in his chest as he looked at his sweet mother's beaming face. He took in a deep breath to steady himself and cleared his throat.

"Hey Ma," his voice croaked and he winced. His tongue was like sandpaper and his throat was drier than the Jakkuvian desert. That's what happened when one substituted their daily water intake with alcohol, he guessed. "Sorry, I was busy," he forced himself to add.

The relief was obvious in his mother's voice. “ _Mijo_? Oh thank goodness, I was so worried. Aren’t you  coming home?”

“They said I had to start this week, Ma. I had all these orientation things I had to go to.” He couldn’t believe he was lying to his mother now, but it was for her own good. If she saw what he looked like, he’d be in lock-down in his childhood bedroom and force-fed. “I’ll visit next weekend, I promise.”

His mother tutted as she usually would whenever he had to blow off plans with his family, but Lance picked up the soft sniffle. His heart broke again.

“Have you had dinner?”

His stomach grumbled at the mere mention of food. “Yeah.” Another lie; might as well. He wriggled his way out of bed and headed towards his kitchen. Empty take-out cartons, half-empty alcohol bottles and crushed beer cans littered the counter-top and the gleaming marble island. He opened his fridge and reached for another beer can.

"What did you have?"

He froze, not anticipating the question. "Uh...ramen."

"The instant kind?"

"...Yeah. I got busy today so I didn't have time to cook."

His mother was quiet on the other end of the line and Lance could only imagine what was racing through her mind. She finally sighed heavily and Lance felt a stab of guilt. “If you’d come home this week I could have sent you off with some food.”

“I’m a grown man, Ma!” Lance glanced at his fridge, stacked high with booze, and moldy take-out but not a single scrap of edible food. “I can take care of myself.”

If there was one perk of royal life, it was that most things domestic were taken care of for him. Meals were cooked, clothes laundered and laid out for him. It’d taken a while for him to get used to that, but it looked like it was going to take him a while to get used to being a civilian again.

“You will come home for a bit next week,” his mother stated it rather than asked. He wasn’t so sure if he could make that promise, but just to make her happy, he agreed.

“Next week, I promise. I’m sorry Ma, I love you.”

“I love you too _mijo_ ,” and then, after a hesitant pause, “Call more often, please.”

The light pleading tone made him want to skin himself alive. He managed a weak “I will.” That, he can do. _Should_ do. He didn’t have to be part of the backdrop of one inane political matter or the other anymore; he had no excuse now. As he said his goodbyes, Lance finished off the can of beer and tossed it to the growing pile in one of the kitchen’s large, metal sinks.

His stomach grumbled again and he slumped. He had to be a special kind of stupid to turn her offer of food down. He reflexively reached for his phone to order more food, but quickly realized that it was a habit that had to go. If he was starting work soon, he’d needed to make sure he was fit - especially if he was going to work his way up to a fighter pilot.

He threw on a clean hoodie and jeans and left his apartment with just his wallet, keys and phone. At first, he’d instinctively reached for the protective vest Coran had insisted he take with him, but decided against it. He was back on Earth, there weren’t going to be alien warlords out for his head; least of all when he’d been stripped of his titles.

There was a certain relief in that thought and also the freedom of walking down the city streets alone with no guards blocking his view. He took in the bustling streets, people brushing past him as they rushed to get home to their loved ones, to meet with friends...all things he himself hadn’t done in years.

As he rounded the corner into a more secluded avenue, Lance heard the distinct sound of a camera shutter. He stilled and goosebumps rose up his neck. Suddenly, he felt very stupid for not taking the vest with him. He shakily reached for his phone, his thumb sliding over the edge till it found the power button. He couldn’t remember Coran’s words; was it four or five clicks?

He heard the sounds again, louder this time and turned his head discreetly in its general direction. A dark figure darted behind a signpost and Lance rooted himself there, staring diligently until the figure’s head popped up again. The figure seemed to do a double-take, almost as though he hadn’t expected to be caught and scampered off.

The tension between his shoulders eased and he took in a deep breath to steady his nerves. It was just the nosy press. That, he had no escape from.

He jogged towards the small grocer’s, eager to be in a more crowded space before people could have a good look at his face. Hastily, he picked up a few vegetables, rice and canned fish. He marched by the alcohol aisle, he was already well-stocked. He annoyed the store manager as he fumbled through self-checkout, having almost forgotten how Earth payment methods worked.

By the time he returned to his apartment, he was winded. Boy, was he out of shape. He emptied out the moldy take-out boxes from his fridge and stowed away his groceries. There, he was one step closer to being less of a useless, waste of space. He looked about the spacious abode and decided cleaning could wait another day.

Grabbing another beer can and a pack of baby carrots, he made for his room again. Sitting on the edge of his bed, he munched on a few carrots. A spot of green light caught his eye and he turned to see Pidge’s glasses folded on the bedside table. The screens lit up and flashed a battery sign and dimmed again.

He reached for them, frowning as he opened the frame. They were too small for his head, but he could still see and make use of the twin screens. He flicked at the light, turning the glasses upside down as he inspected them. From how unstable the frame was, it was likely a prototype. How long before Pidge realized this was missing?

Lance tapped the camera icon and a chill went through his body as an image of a little girl stared back at him. She was smiling gleefully, her face far too close to the camera. One thing was undeniable - her eyes, they were the exact shade of blue as his. He shakily tapped again and the next image showed a messy lab table with various stray parts and tools strewn across a table. It had to be Pidge’s workstation at the Garrison. He tapped once more, hoping to see more of the little girl, but only found more blurry images of Pidge’s desk or the floor.

He returned to the image and felt a sort of panic set in his chest. He reached for his beer and downed it one gulp, hoping it’ll settle his rattled nerves. Of course, they did nothing but stir them up even more.

The girl had to be Pidge’s daughter. She had the dark curls he’d seen in photos and the olive skin that made her stand out from the other, fairer-skinned Holts.

A thought crossed his mind and he stumbled out of his bedroom. He pushed aside stacks of moving boxes until he found the one marked ‘photos’. He dug through the box until he found the framed photo of Rachel and himself, in matching overalls and wide grins. He compared the two and felt the panic grip at his throat now.

There had to be an explanation. Maybe it was a total coincidence. Pidge had been with other men that weren’t him. It could’ve easily been another blue-eyed, olive-skinned asshole who impregnated her and abandoned her. It couldn’t possibly be him - he’d never do that to Pidge.

He reached for his phone and shakily called the only man who could possibly help him.

“Hunk?” his voice croaked and his friend’s cheery greeting immediately fell flat on the other end. “You’re going to have a frank talk with me buddy.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Grampy you’re doing it wrong!” 

Katie smiled from behind her laptop as her father sighed and scratched his head. “I’m sorry dear, I’m not the best at this.” He nudged his glasses further up his nose bridge and closely examined Lu’s hair as though he was working on his research. Lu shifted impatiently in her seat and glanced up at him.

“Where’s nonna?”

“She’s gone to get milk,” her father loosened the messy side-pony slowly. “Don’t you want to spend time with Grampy?”

Katie smothered her smile behind a hand as she worked on her laptop. What her father - and well, mother as of a few hours ago - didn’t know, was that her mother wasn’t at the grocer’s. She was having a surprise pampering session at the hair salon.

“I do!” Lu kicked her legs excitedly from her seat. “But Nonna does my hair way better. Wait! No! Uncle Matty does it better.”

“He does,” her father chuckled, pinning down a wild curl with a daisy clip. “He used to do Mama’s hair when she was your age.”

Katie smiled fondly at the memory and then faltered. Her little girl won’t have the experience of having siblings - or even cousins. Her mind briefly went to Sylvio and Nadia, how beyond happy Lance had looked to be reunited with them when they’d returned to Earth.

She didn’t know what prompted it, but Lucia had recently started asking for a baby sibling and Katie didn’t know how to explain to her that she was asking her for the impossible. She could always adopt, but she had her hands full as it was with Lu and her job. She couldn’t expect her parents to help out with one more child either.

She pushed away those thoughts, worked out the kinks in her neck and slammed her laptop shut. Some idiot had stolen her smart-glasses and she’d managed to narrow their location to the heart of Plaht City. Luckily, they hadn’t stolen nor accessed any of her classified files; only the pictures taken with the glasses were viewed and she was sure there wasn’t much to them. Either way, she’d managed to cut off access and formatted the memory. Now, they were left with a pair of glasses that pretty much did nothing.

She glanced at her watch and nudged her dad. “Go pick Mom up from the hair salon, she thinks I’m going to get her.”

Her father frowned at a hair knot, experimentally tugging at it. “But what about Lucia?”

“Just go Dad, we’ll be fine.” 

“Are you sure? You said you had work to do.” 

“ _Go_. And don’t come back until you and Mom go to that fancy place downtown for dinner. I already made the reservation.”

“...Reservation?”

Katie sighed and jerked her thumb to the old photo of her parents’ wedding on her mantle. Her father’s eyes turned wide as saucers.

“Don’t worry, she forgot too,” she stood up and threw his coat his way. “You’re already somewhat well-dressed. Just throw this on and take the nice car.”

Her father nervously smoothed his hair on the hallway mirror and Katie felt herself smile. If it weren’t for graying hair and antiquated sense of fashion, he would have looked like a teenage boy about to go on his first date.

“ _Dad_. She’s waiting!”

“You could have given me a warning! I should have shaved,” her father frowned at his beard while she rolled her eyes.

"Don't worry, she likes the scruff. What she  _doesn't_ like is waiting out in the cold." Behind her, Lu giggled as she pushed him out the door. “Have fun crazy kids! Don’t stay out too late. Have her home by eleven!” Katie watched her father fumble with the buttons of his coat, and then squint at the buttons of her new car that she’d modified herself.

Her father jumped as the engine roared to life and Katie shook her head as he finally drove off; slower than a speed than was legal, she was sure. She smiled down to her daughter who clung to her pants.

“It’s their anniversary today. They never missed it before, but I guess old age is catching up to them.” Much to her amusement, Lu nodded sagely and Katie ruffled her messy curls. She knelt down and expertly undid her father’s clumsy knots and brushed back her daughter’s wild curls with her hands. “I gotta make some numbers behave, will you be okay for an hour on your own baby? I’ll let you watch any movie you like.”

“ _Any_ movie?”

“Any movie,” she repeated, thankful for once for the existence of parental controls.

“Even Dumbo?” Her daughter's little hands grasped at the edge of her sweater; her blue eyes wide and begging.  

Katie hesitated but eventually nodded. It was hard saying no to those adorable eyes. Lucia gasped excitedly and rushed to their living room. She smiled as her tiny form climbed onto the couch, already turning the TV to her favorite movie.

“Be good, I’ll come down a bit to make us dinner,” Katie pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Her daughter was too excited to hear her.

“We’re gonna watch Dumbo, Bae Bae!” Lu exclaimed excitedly to her toy.

* * *

 

Lance shifted nervously before the house. The address Hunk had given him looked about right and he did recognize the car parked outside, but he knew his apprehension had nothing to do with the unfamiliar neighborhood. He wanted answers, and he was only going to get them if he asked.

He took in a deep breath to calm himself and knocked. He found himself straining his ears and heard scuffling and what sounded like quick, light footsteps towards the door. He braced himself as it finally opened - to no one.

“Hello!” A cheery voice greeted him. Lance looked down - way down - and paled. There she was, his possible-child.

“H-Hi,” he cleared his throat before his voice went squeaky. “Um, is your mom around?”

“She’s busy,” she informed with a dramatic sigh. A hand rested on her hip and Lance noticed the smudges of paint on the little girl’s denim overalls. “Busy, busy bee. You can wait inside if you want.” She pushed the heavy teak door wider with both hands, grunting with effort.

“Are you...sure you should be letting me in?” He would have guessed a four-year-old would know about stranger-danger.

“Yeah, I know you,” Lu frowned, almost a matter-of-factly up at him. 

“Y-you do?” he stammered.

“Yeah! You’re my Mommy’s friend, the blue paladin! Uncle Prince Lance!” His shoulders drooped. It had to be the first time someone had referred to him as a paladin in _years_ and it did nothing but disappoint him. The weird designation didn’t even bother him either. “Mommy’s at her office. She won’t be out for a _long_ , long while. I can go get her if you want.”

Lance wasn’t really sure what the little girl meant, but he nodded anyway. She probably meant Pidge’s tendency to tune out the world around her when she was working. Lu turned around and headed to the couch, her attention back to the TV and to the little stuffed puppy by her side.

“Ooh, it’s gonna be my favorite part,” Lu bent down to whisper into the dog’s ear.

“What was that?”

“Oh. I was talking to Bae Bae.”

Lance blinked and looked about him. Pidge’s beloved canine was nowhere to be found. It was strange. Usually, he’d hear Bae Bae’s barks whenever the doorbell rang when she was still living at her parents' house.

“You mean...that?” he pointed to the toy, walking forward to perch himself on the couch next to her. He felt enormous next to her. Lu was incredibly tiny; she had her mother’s stature for sure.

“Yeah!” she thrust the toy puppy in his face and he blinked warily. “Mommy gave him to me when Bae Bae died. She was really sad and I was really sad. We really missed him a lot so Mommy got me this toy and I named him after him!”

Lance paled. He knew he was _extremely_ out of the loop, but Pidge couldn’t even give him a text to tell him that?

“I-I’m sorry,” he mumbled lamely. He cleared his throat and awkwardly played with the strings of his hoodie. He was usually great with kids, why was he so stiff with his own?

“It’s okay,” Lu hugged the toy to her side. “I really want a puppy, but Mommy says I’m too young for one.”

Lance glanced around him, wondering if Pidge was going to barge in at any moment. 

“Yeah, you are,” he answered distractedly. “Pets are a lot of responsibility.”

He took his chance to take in his surroundings. The house was clean, by Pidge standards at least. There a few toys strewn on the carpet before them and a few more lined along the hallway, but it was more of the organized chaos he was familiar with.

“Have you got a dog, Uncle-Prince Lance?”

“Just... Lance is okay and ah- no. No dog.”

“My friend Laila got a dog. It’s a chihuahua. It’s real small and he’s mean. But when I give him treats he’s really nice.”

“That’s...uh, nice,” he mumbled, still distracted by his surroundings. To the corner of the living room, there was a low table piled high with tiny robots in various stages of disrepair. Knowing the Holts, it was more likely to be the opposite case. There was a stack of fresh laundry on the kitchen counter and another right next to him; all seemed to be children’s clothes.

Next to him, Lu clapped happily as a baby elephant hugged his mother on-screen. He exhaled sharply and turned towards her. He obviously couldn’t _ask_ her outright, it was obvious she didn’t know anything. A voice incessantly nagged at him to poke around, find out what he could before Pidge inevitably showed up to chase him away. He stared stupidly at the little girl, still unsure where his natural charisma with children went.

He glanced at the TV screen again, noting the movie. “I watched that flick as a kid, I loved it.”  To his relief, Lu looked at him like he’d just offered to give her a lifetime supply of ice cream.

“It’s my favorite too! I really like Dumbo, but Mommy don’t let me watch it much. So I watch it in secret.”

“Why?”

“‘Cause I cried when Dumbo got taken from his mama. It makes Mommy sad if I’m sad.”

Lance let out the softest “oh” and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He could see the top of her dark curls where tiny flower clips were placed strategically in attempts of taming it. He couldn't help the soft smile. His mother and sisters had the exact same curls and just with that thought, his heart stilled.

 _Quiznack_ . He completely forgot about his family. What would _they_ think about a secret child? What if a paternity test proved she wasn’t his at all?

“...But it makes _me_ sad to see Mommy sad. And Auntie Nadia said Mommy was afraid I’d get lonely. But I’m not lonely! I got Bae Bae.”

On first glance, Lucia seemed to almost take entirely after him. His eyes, his skin tone and the signature Serrano curls the women in his family had. But he knew better. He knew the shape of Pidge's eyes, the childish curves of her face that Pidge had when she was a teenager and even the gentle arch of her eyebrows or the faint smattering of freckles on her nose. There was so much of her in his little girl.

“Do I got ketchup on me?” Lu blinked, her eyes crossing to look at the tip of her nose.

“No…” he sighed, leaning his head on his chin. “I'm sorry, it's just- You just look so much like your mother.” He surprised himself with how soft his voice was; it was almost imbued with affection. He was still mad at Pidge, he was sure, but there was this odd knot in his chest that twisted tight with affection whenever the little girl's eyes looked up at him.

She was _his_ child. She had to be.

His vision blurred and he quickly turned his head away before she could spot his tears. He rubbed his eyes and stood up abruptly, walking over to the mantelpiece to the side of the room filled to the brim with photo frames. Almost all of them were of Lu at various stages of life. As an infant, smiling in her sleep and swaddled tight in a pale green blanket; as a little baby with wild, untameable dark curls that looked so much like when Rachel was little; on her first birthday, in her grandparents’ arms while she blew out her single candle. He stopped and took in every single photo, his heart racing and his mind conflicted.

His instincts had never failed him before and he had no reason to doubt it now. He paused at one photo without Lu - well, she was still in Pidge’s belly, but still technically not in the photo. It was hidden behind the rest, almost intentionally thrown out of sight. It appeared to be Pidge’s baby shower. She wore a light purple maternity dress, her hair decorated with flowers. It looked to be a candid shot as she was looking down at her belly, a tender look in her eyes and a hand rested over the curve.

He was absolutely transfixed. He’d never gotten the chance to see her when she was pregnant and all he could think of was how... _ethereal_ she looked. She definitely had the pregnancy glow and he surprised himself with the stab of regret in his heart that he’d missed all of it.

He trailed down more photos, stilling as he spotted a framed ultrasound. His fingers lifted on their own to reach for it, but he stopped himself. He turned around to see Lu. Her blue eyes - so much like his own - were glued to the screen, arms still hugging her precious Bae Bae; her mother still nowhere to be found. He turned back to the ultrasound, reading Pidge’s scribble on the bottom.

_Peanut, twelve and a half weeks_

His blood ran cold. Casting yet another a glance behind him, he squinted at the photo, spotting the date of the ultrasound. He did the quick math in his head and it didn’t take long for him to feel light-headed.

“Holy fucking shit.”

“That’s a bad word!” Lu gasped.

Behind him, he heard a door close and his fingers moved on their own. He reached for the picture of Pidge and tucked it into his jacket, turning around just in time to see the very woman descend the stairs. As soon as her eyes found his, she paled.

 

* * *

 

 

Katie dropped the dish in her hands, not even flinching as the porcelain shattered by her feet. Lance’s brow rose in concern but before he could step closer to her, Katie raised her hand abruptly. Her daughter looked between the two adults, sensing the tension in the room immediately.

“Lu..." she gulped shakily but keeping her wide gaze focused on her child.  "What did we say about letting strange people into the house?”

“But he’s not a stranger Mommy! He’s Uncle-Prince Lance!”

She rubbed her eyes tiredly, not knowing what to say to her daughter. She _knew_ she should have installed that biometrics lock on the front door. Matt had a lot of nerve calling her paranoid. She shook her head and pointed to the door after taking a few breaths to steady herself.

“Please go see if Auntie Elle needs help with the gardening.”

“But-”

_“Lucia Estella Holt.”_

She watched as her little girl's bottom lip stuck out but she glumly headed towards the door. Her daughter gave a bright smile to Lance who returned it with a light hair tousle as she walked out.

Katie waited till Lu looked both ways before dashing across the street to the adjacent home. As soon as the little girl disappeared behind the door, and Katie closed hers, Lance cleared his throat. She refused to meet his eyes. He had the ultrasound picture in his hands, there was fury in his eyes, he knew.

“So..." he began, looking down to the ultrasound in his hands and finally up at her. "When were you going to tell me about my daughter?”

Katie lifted a brow and crossed her arms defiantly, as though she had no clue what he was saying. Lance didn't take it too well. The frown was immediate and his brows creased in annoyance. It was then, she noticed the dark smudges beneath his eyes - unusual for the man who'd used to take such immaculate care of his skin.

“Don't bullshit me Pidge. She looks just like my sisters did when they were her age.”

“She takes after _me_ ,” she interjected, but it was a weak comeback.

People have said Lu took after her as she had her round face, doe-shaped eyes and small nose. But in truth, she took after her Daddy more. Her olive skin, dark curls and even the adorable slight dimple on her left cheek; that was all her father's. The dark blue eyes alone should have been a dead giveaway and pretty much served as the sole reason why she didn’t share much about her daughter to her colleagues. One look at her would have been enough to set tongues wagging.

“Then who is her father?” he pressed testily. He'd come forward to tower over her in what she hoped wasn't an intimidation tactic. All the same, she held her ground.

“A random man I had a one night stand with. I have no memory of who it was or what he looked like -  only that I was very drunk.”

“On the night of Veronica’s wedding, right?” he gestured to the ultrasound. “I did the math. I’m an idiot, but I’m not a fucking degenerate.”

She shrugged, turning away from him to sweep up the shards.

“I _know_ she’s mine, Pidge,” his voice had taken a tone a touch lower and it made her shiver. “I’ll ask for a paternity test, if I have to.”

Panic surged through her body. Lance wasn’t playing around. “She’s not _yours_ ,” she snapped. Katie gripped the edge of the kitchen counter, leaning against it heavily. With a shaky sigh, she finally admitted the truth she’d kept from him for nearly five years. “She’s ours.”

* * *

 

She had to be a masochist to invite him back to the same diner, but Katie didn’t know a more appropriate place nor one where the waitstaff already knew the on-going dramas of her life. She didn’t know what was going to transpire that day but one thing was for certain. Since their argument yesterday and the years-long pressure of keeping Lu a secret from him now gone, Katie felt weirdly lighter. Even if he’d found out in the worst way possible.

_“Why didn’t you tell me?!”_

_“I did try to tell you.”_

_“When?!”_

_“That day in the diner...the week you eloped.”_

_The fury in his eyes eased and Lance paled. He leaned back heavily against the couch and looked at her with defeat._

_“You still could have told me,” Lance mumbled._

_“And what? Have her heart broken when she finds out her daddy can't be there for her because he was raising another family on a whole other planet?”_

_“We could have made it work!”_

_“I’m not your fucking mistress, Lance. Get out.”_

_Lance straightened himself and slowly set down the framed ultrasound. There was a menacing edge to his voice when he spoke. “I’m not kidding around Pidge. That’s_ my _child. I am her father, I_ will _be a part of her life.” He pulled out of his phone and typed in a message. Her phone vibrated in her pocket. “If you think I’m just going to walk away from my little girl, you’re not the genius I thought you were.”_

_Katie’s cheeks flushed with anger and she resisted the urge to pummel him over his head. The nerve of him to say that to her._

_“Get. Out.”_

_“I just texted you my address,” Lance continued unfazed. “We_ will _talk this through.”_

_With one last pointed glare her way, he finally left._

The paranoia of losing her child was still there. Not to mention the fear that the press would catch wind of her little girl’s existence and the undeniable tie she had to a now-notorious, (former) Altean royalty. Of all things to happen that day, she never thought Lance stealing that picture of her - the very one that she absolutely _hated_ \- was what would bring her here today. She had her ransom ready, the hard drive in her palm contained every single video and picture she had of Lu from birth to current.

“Hey Katie,” Lillian, the same waitress - and owner of the diner, she’d come to learn - smiled warmly at her. “I haven’t seen you around in a while. How’s the little one?”

“She just started kindergarten,” Katie said proudly. She dug out her phone and beamed as the older woman cooed over pictures of Lu in her new school uniform.

“My, you’re even sending her to the fancy one uptown,” Lillian nodded at the crest on Lu’s uniform. “It’s almost like paying for a college tuition, isn’t it?”

Katie shrugged and tucked her phone back into her pocket. “She deserves the best.”

If she was being honest, she wasn’t much of a private school snob as other people may think her be. She just didn’t feel secure in sending Lu to the Garrison’s program where her colleague’s children attended. The less people in her life who knew Lu and how she looked like, the better.

“Well, what can I get you today?”

“Two coffees and maybe a shot of whiskey in mine.”

Lillian didn’t hide her surprise. “Oh? Can I expect an interesting visitor?”

“You can expect interesting alright.”

Right on cue, the door’s bell jingled and Lance walked in. It was a weird sense of deja vu. Instead of her smiley best friend, there stood a cold, gloomy man. For some strange reason, her heart constricted - the first time in _years_ \- and her palms were balmy.

He wore a brown leather jacket, similar in style to the one he wore as a teen but more fitted to his frame. His eye were hidden behind dark shades and as he slid into her booth, she bristled as her own reflection stared back at her.

“Welcome,” Lillian began brightly after a few seconds of stunned silence. “What can I get you?”

“Just a coffee for now,” Lance smiled charmingly at her. A ghost of his old self materialized and for a moment, Katie was transported to happier times - to the first time they ate at that very diner. 

“So,” Lance began after Lillian left their booth. “How are we going to do this?” 

And just like that, the memory vanished.

“Like adults,” she replied stiffly.

“I really want us to be civil, Pidge-”

“I go by Katie now,” she interrupted him coldly. She knew that was unnecessary - most of the team still called her Pidge as did Matt, but something in her just wanted to hurt him. Hurt him for all the unintentional hurt he’d given her.

Lance inhaled sharply and pulled off his glasses. She noticed how bloodshot his eyes were as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okay, _Katie_. I’m not going to let this go.”

“Or what,” she scoffed.

“Or I’ll bring lawyers into this.” Lance’s voice wavered, but his gaze didn’t and it made a shiver run down her spine. She’d only seen that ferociousness in his eyes the time he’d protected her from Galran pirates many years ago. “But I'd rather we don’t,” his fingers unfurled and Katie noticed only then that he’d had his hands fisted.

“I rather we don’t either,” she sighed finally. “But we are doing this on _my_ terms.”

“And what are they?”

“You will not tell her who you are till I say so,” she watched his face carefully and sure enough, the furrow between his brows deepened. It struck her how much he’d changed. Fine lines etched on his forehead and the corners of his eyes. His cheekbones a lot more prominent than she remembered and his cheeks a little hallowed. It was clear in his red eyes he'd been both crying and was sleep deprived. “It’s for her own good, not mine. It’ll be a huge shock to a four-year-old.” She averted her gaze, hating the sudden bout of sympathy in her heart for him.

“As long as it’s reasonable,” Lance mumbled, scrubbing a hand over his face tiredly. “What else?”

She took in a long, deep breath. He wasn’t going to like this one. “We keep your family out of this. _For now_.” Lance closed his mouth and huffed in annoyance. “I’ll let you get to know her first, as a family friend, but I have to be around for it. You’d have to work around my schedule.” 

“That won’t be a problem. I’ve got a job at the Garrison.” Her brows disappeared into her bangs. “You really don’t have to look so surprised. I’ve got to support myself somehow.” 

“It’s not the job I’m surprised by...I just didn’t think you’d get back to the swing of things...so soon.” 

Lance’s steady gaze finally broke and she watched him fiddle distractedly with his mug. “I missed flying.” He looked like he was about to say more and Katie waited for it, but it just ended with the both of them staring down mutely at their mugs. “I...I really want to see my daughter. I’m not tryin-” 

“Our daughter,” Katie interrupted primly. Lance only sighed heavily. 

“...I'm not trying to snatch _our_ daughter from her mother. I want to be a part of her life - and not just as some guy who drops in once in a while. I want to pick her up from school, I want to take her to my family so she could meet her abuela, abuelo and cousins. I want to show her Varadero, the beaches, my hometown-” Katie gulped and her fingers tightened around her mug. But Lance wasn't finished. She didn't know how he was still going without pausing for a breath. “-she _needs_ to know I'm her father. I need her to know I want to be there for her every step of the way.” 

He finally stopped and took in a deep breath, running his hand through his hair. She spotted his ring finger again. Only this time, there was no ring - just tan lines. She chewed on her lip and mulled over her words. “Lance, you're not a stranger to me...but you are to Lucia. Maybe someday, but not today or any time soon.” 

His shoulders visibly slumped and Katie almost felt bad for him, but her irrational fears were slowly evolving in her mind. She couldn't imagine handing over her baby to anyone even just for a day. If it wasn't Nadia or her family, she'd be anxious out of her mind. 

But she didn't need to be careful anymore, she realized. More than that, Lance _was_ family. If she was being stubborn, maybe not _her_ family, but definitely Lu's. 

“There’s something else...and I don’t want you to deny me this.” 

“What is it?”

“I want to pay for her tuition. Her insurance too...and just whatever else she needs. I'll cover all of it.” 

“You think I can't afford it?!” Katie looked up at him incredulously. She might be a single mother, but she was luckier than most. If anything, Katie was sure she made significantly more than he did. Lu and her lived in incredible comfort and she never needed Lance's help. She wanted for it to stay that way. 

Lance's brows furrowed. “No…” he began slowly, as if she was five. “I'm her _father_ , I want to take care of her.” 

Katie averted her eyes, immediately feeling her face warm. Of course he would, she needed to relax. But it was impossible to think straight when the very blue eyes her beloved daughter inherited stared down at her with such animosity. 

“You can pay for half,” she managed after a prolonged silence. 

“All of it.” 

“ _Half_ Lance,” she frowned. “And you’d agree on half too once you see her school fees. Gives me a mini-heart attack every month.” 

“How expensive can kindergarten be?” 

Katie reached for her phone and tapped through till she found what she wanted. She showed the screen to him and watched in mild satisfaction as he paled. 

“Is she in college?!” he exclaimed. 

“No. Private schools tend to go this high.” 

“ _Private_? Why would you send her there anyway? Wouldn’t you want her close by at the Garrison?” 

She sighed heavily, considering her words carefully. “Lance. I can’t exactly shield her when people knew we were friends.” Past tense, she really was referring to their friendship in the past tense now. “ _Especially_ when I, a single mother with no baby daddy, have a daughter that mysteriously looks a lot like you.” 

Lance slowly leaned back in his seat, it was his turn to be embarrassed. “Fine...half. But I will eventually want to pay for all of it. Don’t fight me on it.” 

Katie only shook her head and rolled her eyes. They were both stubborn mules and Bob knows how they would get anything done without a mediator. 

“Why don’t we get Shiro to help us out?” 

“No way, he totally favors you.” 

Her lips parted to rebuke him, but she had nothing to her defense. She sighed and shrugged. “I really don’t want to bring lawyers into this.” 

“And we won’t. But I’m not going to back down Pidg- _Katie_. She’s just as my little girl as she is yours.” 

She dared herself to look him in the eye and regretted it immediately. There was no hostility in his eyes now. He was opening up to her; being as vulnerable as that fateful night before she ruined it all for the both of them. 

“I know,” her voice had gone hoarse for some reason. “Just give me time, please.” 

She watched him take a shaky breath eyes clouding over with emotion she couldn’t pinpoint. It had to be hard to be patient. She couldn’t imagine how she would be like if Lu was kept from her for five years. 

“Just...please. Don’t take too long. Promise?” 

“You're her Dad. Of course I promise,” she sniffled quietly, pulling out a menu to distract herself. She could tell he was giving her a soft smile now and spotted his hand reaching for hers. She quickly pulled it out of reach and cleared her throat, pushing the hard disk towards him. 

“I’d like my picture back please.”

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

Five years prior

 

“Do you know anything about birth control?” Katie asked breathlessly, glancing backwards to check if the stalls were empty. 

“Yeah, a crap ton,” Nadia snorted. “Y’know, because Ronnie might impregnate me.”

“I do _not_ need your sarcasm right now,” Katie growled. She was shaking now, she wasn’t sure if it was the extra shot of espresso she had that morning or something else entirely.

“In all seriousness, yeah a little. Every self-respecting person should.” Nadia tilted her head towards her and frowned. “What’s up with you? You’ve been so jumpy all day. Don’t tell me you’ve got yourself pregnant or something.”

The wave of nausea returned and she slammed open one of the stall doors to retch into the toilet. Her friend stopped mid-laugh and gaped at her. As Katie emptied the contents of her stomach, Nadia recovered from her shock and went over to her side. Her friend’s fingers pulled back her hair and another soothing - albeit shaky - hand rested on her back.

“This can’t be happening,” Katie groaned, feelings her eyes mist over. Panic was quickly settling in. She couldn’t be pregnant. No, this was not supposed to happen.

“Didn't you use protection?!” 

“I'm on the pill! That’s what I don’t get. This isn’t supposed to happen!” 

Nadia shook her head and threw up her hands. “For how long?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“How long were you on the pill before you did the dirty?” Nadia sighed impatiently. 

“...I don't know? Like four days?” 

Nadia groaned and slapped her forehead. “No shit Holt! It takes about a week to work!” 

“I just didn't think it was possible! We were using condoms too and-” Katie stopped midway as her face turned very red. “Well, except for that one time.” 

“Well, at least I know now Lance is still a sharpshooter.” 

“ _Nadia!_ ” 

“Okay, okay I'm sorry. It's just...so unlike you. You'd be the last person I know who'd get accidentally pregnant. Heck, it probably would’ve been me!” 

Katie groaned and covered her eyes. “What am I going to do Nads?! He's back together with Allura.” 

“And they'll break up again in like two weeks, we know how that tends to go,” she waved her hand dismissively. “Just tell him.” 

“But...I...I really pushed him away this time,” her throat clenched.  “I don’t think he’d want to see me in long while.” 

“What do you mean?”

Katie wiped her mouth and looked away. “I told him I didn’t love him...right after he said he loved me. It really tore him apart, I saw it in his eyes.” Her eyes flooded with tears and she furiously brushed them away. 

Nadia cussed under her breath and began pacing the length of the restroom. “Why the hell would you do that?! Didn’t you say you-” 

“ _Nadia_ ,” she hissed, glancing over her shoulder. “It’s just...so complicated. I’ll tell you one day but _quiznack_ I just feel like my stomach is trying to eject from my body.” 

“Did you...Have you thought about your options?” Nadia asked carefully, a hand gently resting on her shoulder. 

Katie gulped and nodded. “I did...I want to keep it.” 

“Then you _have_ to tell him Holt.” Nadia urged her up, flushing the toilet for her. “And seriously, of all guys to be knocked up by, I’d say you picked the best. Dude loves kids, doesn’t he? And apparently, he loves you. That doesn’t just disappear overnight, heartbreaker or no.” 

Katie shakily walked back to the sinks. She cleaned out the bitter taste in her mouth and her eyes flooded with tears once more as a wave of fear took over. Quiznack, she was _beyond_ terrified - but Nadia was right. She knew Lance would support her every step of the way, that was just the kind of man he was. She had nothing to fear...right? 

“Oh my God.” Nadia gasped suddenly. 

“What?!” 

“I’m _actually_ the aunt!” 

She blinked for a while before paling at the implication. She completely forgot - Veronica’s little niece or nephew was growing in her belly. But Nadia didn’t look too phased. If anything, she looked overjoyed. 

“Hi little Peanut,” Nadia bent down to speak to her flat stomach. 

“Peanut?” 

“Yeah, ‘cos you’re so into peanut butter. It just works. Go with it, okay?” Katie rolled her eyes but her friend continued speaking to her flat belly. “You don’t know it yet, Peanut, but I’m your favorite aunt.” 

Katie pushed her friend aside, but couldn’t help the small smile. As scary and unfamiliar things were, at the very least, the little being in her had a huge family just waiting to adore her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Validations (or if you just wanna scream at me, that's fine too) will be greatly loved and appreciated. x
> 
> Also, special shout-out to artemisarya for drawing gorgeous [art](https://artemisarya.tumblr.com/post/183267930631/heres-a-little-drawing-i-did-based-on-the) based on the fic! I melt everytime I see it. Thank you so much ♥
> 
> EDIT [27/04/19]: Artemisarya has done it again with her amazing art. This time, directly inspired by Lance's interaction with Lu and the photo from Pidge's baby shower! Look at this absolute [masterpiece](https://artemisarya.tumblr.com/post/184412669446/what-was-that-oh-i-was-talking-to-bae-bae)!


	4. sweet as can be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Lance is still a drunk; the "Suggestive Themes" tag should be highlighted for this chapter and other assorted unhealthy coping mechanisms.

_Five years prior_

He was staring at her in  _that_ way again; the way that made her insides melt like molten lava, sent her heart aflutter and basically just any corny possible way to say she was absolutely weak for him. Even if she was in the arms of the man she loved since she was a teenage girl, deep down, buried way underneath...it disgusted her.

She couldn't bring herself to pull away. Every time she slowly backed away, his hand - so  _warm_ that she could feel it through her bridesmaid's dress - pulled her closer to his chest. A chest that she'd grown very fond of; with the breadth of it more comfortable than lounging in her bed and his arms circling her in a way that relaxed her to the bone.

"You took my breath away," his lips brushed her ear as he whispered and a shiver ran down her spine. "Green really is your color."

“And you look handsome,” she smiled serenely, thankful for the pleasant buzz of the champagne that kept her from running away from him. “Suits really suit you.”

Lance chuckled and his hand traveled south - way south - and she heard herself gasp as it lightly traced over the curve of her behind.

“Lance,” her warning tone was useless, but she really didn’t want others to see them like this. “We're at your  _sister’s_ wedding.”

That boyish smile of his returned and he leaned forward to kiss her. A soft, languid kiss that pulled all the tension out of her body, including the pain in her feet which pinched with the four inch stilettos she’d decided to ‘experiment’ with that day. Kissing him was heaven, but as soon as the taste of his rum and coke on his lips touched hers, she snapped out of it.

This had to stop, for both their sakes.

“No one can see us, it’s dark,” he murmured, lips brushing past her brow. Lance pressed his cheek to the top of her head, arms respectfully positioned on her waist; for now, at least. Katie sighed, intending for it to be one of annoyance, but it was a pleasured one that earned a smug hum from the man holding her. She punched his arm lightly and allowed him to pull her closer to his chest.

Being the maid of honor for one of the brides, Katie was told she needed to look her best. By the bridezilla's standards, it was the tight little velvet dress that Nadia had somehow wrangled her into. It didn't show much skin - save for the scandalous slit by the side that would occasionally flash a little peek of her bare thigh - but it was clearly designed to emphasize what little assets she had. It was a lot more feminine and glamorous than she was used to - but she hated to admit she liked it.

One thing was for certain, Lance loved it and she would be lying if she said she didn't love how his fingers slid over the curves of her body. How his lips would somehow find it's way on whatever inch of bare skin he could find; her ears, her cheeks, her temple or when he felt ballsy, her neck. Each little kiss slowly worked to chip away at her inhibitions and each teasing nibble made her want to give in to the temptation that was him. But it had to stop and tomorrow was going to be it.

“Come back to mine,” she whispered, a voice in her head crying out that she was making a mistake. One last night with him; just for closure. They’d fooled around before, what’s one more night going to change? “I need you.”

* * *

 

_Present Day_

Nadia paced the length of her kitchen. The phone call had been a few hours ago, but the news still rattled in her ears, torturing her mind with all the worst possible outcomes. It was only a matter of time now before all hell broke loose and for someone who thrived off of chaos, this was not a wave she had ever wanted to ride.

She jumped as the door to her apartment opened and her wife emerged with a smile. Veronica took off her coat and looked over to her in amusement.

“Honey, I’m home,” her wife called out flatly, clearly unaccustomed to quietness from her. Something caught at Nadia’s throat - fear, she realized - and she managed a weak smile for her as she walked over to her side in the kitchen to kiss her cheek. “What’s cookin’?”

“Uh, hey,” she forced a smile. “I’m making us enchiladas for dinner.”

“Burnt enchiladas, yum.”

“ _Shit_ ,” Nadia hastily opened the oven and coughed as smoke filled their kitchen. Behind her, Veronica turned on the fume hood and patted her back.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t marry you for your cooking,” Veronica laughed, hugging her from her side. “How’d your day go?” Ronnie prompted as she pulled off her Garrison jacket. Nadia thought of the thing Katie had told her that morning and paled. She can't tell her just yet, she didn't want to die this young.

“Oh, nothing really. Just the usual training simulations and uh- stuff," she laughed nervously with that. Unfortunately for her, her wife noticed as she’d lifted an eyebrow at her. Even if Veronica was a lot busier than she was - with her own level of business tied with how close to a mission she was - she was ridiculously astute when something wasn’t right with her. It was the exact sort of thing that gave her odd mix of guilt and anxiety.

“Come join me at the couch for a sec?” Nadia nodded and shakily switched off the stove. As she settled herself next to Ronnie, she tried calming herself with discrete, deep breaths. It’s only been a few days. Lance couldn’t have gone and blabbered to his family in that time; Katie had said he promised to keep Lu to himself. For now, at least. What were the chances he’d given up so soon? She nervously lifted her eyes towards Veronica, assessing her facial expression; she didn’t keep her waiting for much long. “You spend an awful lot of time with Katie.”

Nadia gulped but forced yet another smile. She nudged her wife gently. “Jealous, babe?”

To her relief, she laughed and pulled her closer for a kiss. “Maybe a little, but I know it’s because you love her kid.”

“I do,” Nadia sighed, partially in the exhaustion of the years-long secret, partially in the realization that Ronnie wouldn’t be as understanding as she was now if she knew. It looked like she hadn’t found out yet. Now was her chance to tell her without her finding out in the worst possible way, but she’d made her promise to her best friend. If she told Ronnie now, there wasn’t a chance in hell Veronica could keep it from the rest of the Serrano clan.

Next to her, Veronica gently tugged her hair out of it’s tight ponytail and smoothed out the strands with her fingers. Nadia allowed herself to close her eyes as her wife’s fingers threaded through her hair, her fingertips gently massaging her scalp. As much as it helped ease tension, her heart thudded in her chest. She’d be dead before she’d ever admit it, but she was a coward.

“I know I promised talking about having kids five years after we married…” Veronica whispered gently. “But I’m not ready for that yet. I’m really sorry, Nadie. I hope you don’t resent me for it.”

“Don’t be,” Nadia bit her lip nervously, toying with the edge of her wife’s sweater. Guilt ate at her. Here she was agonizing over a secret from her wife for almost five years now and her Ronnie was worried she was resenting her for pushing back having kids. “I could  _never_ hate you for that. We’re both busy anyway, we can’t really afford time for a kid.”

Veronica nodded, a more relieved smile on her face and pressed a kiss to her temple. “At least we got a ton of nieces and nephews to spoil.”

Nadia froze but forced herself to chuckle. “We do.” With a tight gulp, she snuggled closer to her wife, guilt pulling painfully in her heart. “And I love every single one of them.” 

* * *

 

_"Mom, she's smiling!"_

_"Matt, come look!"_

Lance finished off another beer and crushed the can easily. He tossed it to the pile next to him and reached for another. He didn't know what time it was nor how long it had been since he returned to his apartment. His curtains were drawn, the lights turned off and the cool tiles of his bedroom floor uncomfortably chilly. He was too numb to care. All he knew, was that he couldn't take his eyes off his laptop screen.

_"Oh, she's absolutely precious."_

The camera panned over an exhausted, but smiling Pidge, cradling a newborn Lucia - eyes still closed and her skin pink as they tended to be. Colleen was by her side, gently adjusting the swaddle with the fussy baby.

His baby.

The can hissed as he opened it, but before he could take a swig, the camera zoomed in, focusing on the baby's face. Quiznack, she was so _tiny_. His heart clenched as another little smile formed on the sleeping newborn's face, much to the new mother's delight. Pidge giggled softly and bent down to kiss the top of her daughter's head; a soft look in her eyes as she cradled her bundle of joy closer. With that, the video ended abruptly and his room was blanketed in darkness yet again. He stared mutely at his sad reflection on the dark screen and his finger lifted to tap the replay button.

This time, he focused on Pidge. There were dark smudges beneath her eyes and her hair - longer than he remembered - was tousled. As tired as she looked, he couldn't help but stare at her. She had a glow to her that reminded him of her baby shower picture. He reached for his phone and looked at the picture once more.

He didn't know why he found himself looking at it; torturing himself by imagining what could have been if he wasn't such an impulsive idiot. He wondered if Pidge had someone to take care of her. Whether she had someone to run out at three in the morning to grab whatever she craved; or someone to make sure she was eating healthy and not the junk food she filled her lab cabinets with. If she had someone to take her to appointments, to make sure she wasn't overworking herself as she tended to do.

That someone should have been him.

All those years while he’d been lightyears away, his little girl was born, smiled her first smile, took her first steps, said her first words, went to her first day of school...he’d missed all of it. And even if Pidge had captured nearly all those precious moments and organized them to a level that any archivist would be envious of, he still craved more. He wanted to know how it felt to hold her as an infant, hear her say her first words or be on the other end to catch her as she took her first steps. He would never get a chance to do any of that with Lu.

The video finished again, pausing briefly at the infant little smile, before turning to the default black screen. Lance exited the window, scrolling down the files of videos in the disk Pidge gave him that afternoon. His eyelids drooped but he slapped himself awake as he noticed a file right underneath all the others in the folder marked 'birthday'.

**lu_firstsmile.mov**

**untitled.mov**

He frowned and clicked the untitled file. So far, Pidge had been detailed in organizing all of the files - separating them into years, events and even color coding them according to file type. A blurred video materialized on his screen, focusing on what looked like the hospital bed frame from before. The camera lens finally focused on the figure on the bed, showing to be Pidge. Her eyes were closed, a hand gripping the frame next to her so tightly, her knuckles had turned white. He heard the beeps of the heart monitor in the background and Pidge’s labored breathing.

 _“Matt…”_ Pidge frowned at the camera and Lance noticed sweat beading on her forehead.  _“What are you doing?”_

_“Recording this!”_

_“Get that thing away from me. I look like crap.”_

_“Mom wanted-”_

At that moment, Pidge’s face contorted in pain and she squeezed the bed frame tightly. She took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly; Lance held his own. “ _I don’t care,_ I _want Mom here.”_ A few tears escaped her eyes and she quickly brushed them away. The camera was set down and Lance saw the out-of-focus figure of Matt hug his sister.

“ _Dad and her are on the jet. Won’t be long now.”_

The video ended abruptly there, leaving him sitting in the darkness of his room once more. He knew nothing else to do, but to take another swig of his beer. He felt yet another lurch in his heart. Pidge had to endure labor without having the father of her child there to hold her hand; go through all of that knowing she had to hide her baby from the public eye.

Loneliness was something they had in common.

His vision blurred and he angrily brushed them away. He had every right to be furious with her, but couldn’t bring himself to. He wanted to hate her for keeping his child - someone he’d been desperately longing for - from him but he couldn’t bear it.

For one, his baby girl’s middle name was no coincidence - Pidge remembered. But most of all, she was the mother of his child and more than that, even after all these years...he loved her. Loved her so much that the only rational solution five years ago when she’d rejected him, was to move far, far away as he could from her.

His phone vibrated just then, breaking him out of his downward spiral. A quick glance to the screen made him groan. The last person he wanted to talk to now; but a person who’d suffered enough thanks to him. Begrudgingly, he answered.

“Hey ‘llura” His voice was scratchy - only just a teensy bit slurred - and the silence on the other line told him she knew something was off. He quickly cleared his throat. “Sorry, just got up from a nap.”

“Lance...isn’t it seven in the morning where you are?”

 _Shit_.

“Oh, man. Heh, I guess I got wasted last night.” Panic set in his chest. Did Allura already know about Lucia? He thought Pidge wanted nobody to know. Allura was silent for a few more seconds. She’d always had a keen sense of when something was off and he knew it was pointless in trying to hide it from her.

“Are you...coping well?” she asked him carefully. “There were photos of you circulating and...well, you know I don’t pay the tabloids any mind but I couldn’t help but be a little concerned. You look as though...you’ve not been taking care of yourself.”

It took him a few moments to register what she meant and he took in shaky breath to calm himself. She still didn’t know. If he’d still been married when he found out about his secret “lovechild” - and quiznack, he  _hated_ that word - he couldn’t even  _imagine_  the chaos that would have ensued.

“I’m  _fine_ , really.” He felt guilt stab at his chest. How would Allura feel when she would eventually find out about Lucia? Even if his baby girl was conceived way before they were back together, he couldn’t help but feel like a giant sleaze. “I’m sorry I made you worry.” He rubbed his eyes tiredly and attempted standing up. His knees nearly buckled as he stood, and he winced as he stretched out his limbs. He’d been up watching his baby grow to the four year old she was today all through the night. Binge-watching his baby girl's growth was not something he’d anticipated doing in his lifetime.

“Shall I send Tavo over to you? Perhaps a companion-”

“I don’t need a babysitter,” he cut her off abruptly. It took him a few seconds to realize that he’d been short with her. “Shit, sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m not thinking straight now.”

On the other end of the line, Allura sighed. “I realize. I’ve made a video call, yet I’ve been staring into your ear. I was wondering when you’d notice.”

Lance rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, pulling the screen to the front of his face. Realizing that there was only a black screen from his end, he snapped his fingers and the curtains over his windows automatically lifted. Soft orange light filtered into the room from the rising sun; it would’ve been beautiful if it didn’t highlight how much of a mess his place was.

Thankfully, all Allura could see was his sleep-deprived face and the messy sheets of his bed behind him. She sighed softly and rubbed a temple. It was the sort of thing she did when she was stressed and Lance hoped it wasn’t because of him. Again.

The thought of having someone watching over him was both strangely comforting but at the same time disturbing. He didn’t know how high he ranked in alien warlords’ list of wanted heads, but he imagined they wouldn’t have any issues latching onto low-hanging fruit. Least of all, a former paladin of Voltron. He thought of the day he’d been followed by the strange figure. He might not be so lucky next time; the camera could’ve been a gun. “Hey Allura? I think...I think I’ll have Tavo over. Just for a while though. Up until I start work in a few weeks.”

The obvious tension on her face eased and she gave him a warm smile. The first one in a long while. “Wonderful. I’ll notify Tavo immediately.”

“I hope he still doesn’t hate me for running away from him and the guards that one time.”

“ _One_ time Lance?”

A dopey grin managed to find it’s way on his face. It felt foreign, considering the bombshell he’d uncovered a few days ago, but it was a welcome feeling. “Yeah, I guess I was kind of a brat.” He realized too late his time with Lucia was going to be restricted if Tavo was around, but he was sure that was better than winding up dead and never seeing her again at all.

“He’ll be there in a few Earth days. Are you certain you wouldn’t like the guards to come with him as well? I’m certain they miss you.”

Lance snorted at that, but shook his head. One person was intrusive enough and as nice Allura was, he was more than certain that the guards  _didn’t_ miss him.

“I’m sure."

“Have you met with your family yet?”

“No, but I’m seeing them this Sunday.”

Allura nodded approvingly at that. “That’s good. Well, I’ll speak to you some other time?”

He blinked. “S-sure.”

“Goodbye, Lance. Take care.”

“You too ‘llura.”

With a click, the quiet of his apartment surrounded him once more. Lance groaned and slouched back against the foot of his bed. So many thoughts whirled in his head - so many  _emotions_ that he didn’t know what to feel - and he wasn’t even sure what he needed to do. How long did he have before Allura found out? Before his family found out? How long did he have to wait before Lucia would call him ‘daddy’ or worse yet, would his little girl resent him forever for not being there for her for the first four years of her life?

Did Pidge hate him still? He wasn’t even sure of that. She was cooperative at the diner yesterday and he imagined someone who hated him wouldn’t offer an entire disk of her child’s life to him. Then again, he did hold her baby shower photo as ransom - unintentionally, of course.

With that thought, he tapped through his phone till he found the picture. Pidge wouldn’t be happy to know he had a backup copy, but he’d like to think he earned a pass. It was a picture that he couldn’t help but stare at. Looking at her made his heart clench in a way he couldn’t put to words.

Before he could dwell on it any further, the doorbell rang. Lance frowned and pulled himself up. It couldn’t be Tavo, he wasn’t due for a few days. He tugged on his robes and made for the door.  
  
"Hunk?!"

“Hey buddy,” Hunk greeted him gently. He lifted the tin-foil covered tray in his hands. “Wanna talk?”

* * *

The first thing Katie’s eyes rested on, was her daughter’s sweet little face. It wasn’t uncommon for Lucia to sneak into her room in the middle of the night and with all that happened the past few days, she couldn’t imagine any other way to wake up. She wanted her daughter as close to her as humanly possible.

She was still asleep, her little fists curled tight in her sheets just as she used to do as a baby. As it usually was in the morning, her hair was a wild mane. Katie reached forward to gently comb it back, feeling the ache in her heart tighten. Her baby was the best thing to have happened to her and ever since she was born, she made herself swear to give her little girl only the best. Everything, but a loving father it seemed.

Lance would have been an amazing father. Even if he’d be on another planet, Katie would have guessed he would have moved the planet closer to Earth if he could if it meant being close to his daughter. She still remembered their heart-to-hearts many years ago, when they were still in outer space, wondering if they’d ever return home to Earth.

_“Do you ever think about the future?”_

_“No,” Katie scoffed, turning her attention back to her laptop. Lance was in a weirdly sentimental mood that day and she hoped she didn’t have to sit through another monologue of how beautiful Allura was. “I have better things to do.”_

_“Aw, come on Pidge,” Lance grinned, resting his chin on his hands and watching her code over her screen. “You’ve never thought about who you’d marry? Have kids with?”_

_“Aren’t fairytale endings like that a little naive?”  Katie turned away before Lance could see her blush. “Especially when we’re in the middle of a intergalactic war?” Truthfully, she hadn’t really thought that far into the future, but she’d be lying if she said she didn’t envision her future with a certain someone._

_“Well, we pretty much are living in a fairytale. A weird, sci-fi one.” Katie lifted her brow at him. “I mean, think about it. Allura’s a princess; we’re paladins fighting against some evil space pirates and I guess a crazy space witch. I’d say we’re in a fairytale - we’ll get our fairytale ending, I just know it.”_

_Katie rolled her eyes, but her elevated heartbeat told her how she really felt. Was it silly of her to hope her knight in shining armor would look at another knight, or was he fully vested in stealing the princess’s heart?_

_"That's nice, Lance," her reply oozing with sarcasm. But Lance wasn't deterred._

_“You know, my brother had a little girl a few years ago. Naming her was such a huge deal to the family,” Katie lifted her head to listen. She’d heard of his niece before - Lance talked her's and Hunk’s ears off about his family._

_“You’ve told me that before. Nadia, right? It’s a pretty name.”_

_“Yeah. It got me thinking what I’d name my own kids. You’d want to pick a good one, y’know?” Katie shrugged; kids weren't on her mind. At least not now. She was only fifteen. “I was really close to my great-aunt Estella. I...I always thought…” Lance paused and stared up to the ceiling and turned his face to her. The soft look in his eyes gave her that icky feeling in her stomach again._   _“If I’m lucky enough to have a little girl, I think I might name her after her.”_

“Why are you crying Mommy?”

Katie sat up abruptly, startled to see her daughter awake.

“Hm? I’m not crying baby, it’s just Mommy’s pesky allergies.” She sniffled and hastily wiped her eyes. Mercifully, her daughter inherited her father’s immune system.

“Are we going to the park today?” Katie blinked for a moment and felt a rush of guilt for forgetting. Of course, she promised her daughter earlier in the week to take her to the new park in their neighborhood.

A strange feeling overtook her this morning and Katie didn’t have the time nor wanted to psychoanalyze it. As far as she was concerned, she shut Lance out of his little girl’s life - for mostly good reasons, yes - and she needed to make amends. If anything, for her little girl’s sake rather than her own.

“Hey baby?” she stroked her daughter’s hair, loving how much she looked like when she was a toddler, sleeping on her tummy. “Would you mind if I invite Uncle Lance along? He...he wants to get to know you.”

Lucia blinked up at her sleepily and Katie lovingly pressed a kiss to her nose.

“Does he like flying kites?”

“I’m willing to bet he’d love anything you do.”

* * *

 

“Wow,” Hunk breathed as he sat heavily on his couch. “Just...just wow.”

“Yeah,” Lance sighed, running a hand through his hair. So many things didn’t make sense. In the pictures and videos Pidge had given him, he’d seen his sister-in-law, Nadia and even on occasion, Shiro. Did all these people know and thought not to tell him. Worse still, if Nadia knew, did  _Veronica_ know?

"Quiznack, this is nuts."

“Did _you_ know Hunk?” Hunk flushed and twiddled his thumbs, staring very hard at the floor. “You did, and you didn’t think to tell me?!”

“I didn’t _know_ know! Pidge really did say she didn’t know the father and I didn’t think it was right to press her further. I only suspected it from the way Lucia looked. Lu could have easily been one of your cousins’ too y’know. Remember Nick? He was really into Pidge.”

“ _Nick_? Really?”

Lance couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming burst of jealousy - and nausea -  at the thought of one of his cousins sleeping with Pidge. Least of all, that sleazeball cousin of his. He paused his thoughts; was he really getting weirdly territorial with his baby’s mother? He shook his head to rid himself of it and turned back to Hunk who already looked like he was ready to bolt from his apartment. Lance blocked his way.

“I...permission to speak freely?” Hunk sighed, throwing his hands up in defeat.

“I’m not royalty, you don’t have to-”

“I mean it Lance. I can be scathing when I want to be. I don’t keep track of when you guys are on and off. It was exhausting to keep up. No offense buddy.”

“None taken,” he sighed. He owed an apology to Allura. He could barely stand himself, Allura had to put up with him for five years - all while he desperately shoved away feelings for their friend. "What was it that you wanted to say?"

Hunk exhaled sharply and closed his eyes - almost as though he was collecting his thoughts. He did have four years of soap-opera worthy drama to process.

“Y’know...back then, Pidge and you looked _so_ happy. I thought you guys had things figured out. I’ve been rooting for you two since forever and jeez, Pidge’s thing for you lasted  _years_ I thought it was just meant to be _-_ ” Pidge’s thing? For  _him_? “...but then you got married to your ex out of nowhere and then Pidge gets pregnant. It’s just...weird. If I had to guess, Pidge got pregnant from one of her exes; you found out and decided to run back to _your_ ex.”

Lance knew his cheeks were pink, but he didn’t care. He deserved to be called out. Allura and he - chiefly him - didn’t think much about getting married. She was still getting into the grips of royal life and needed someone for support; to comfort her and allow her to drop the veil of a young Queen who knew what she was doing. He just wanted to patch the pain in his broken heart.

But Hunk wasn’t finished.

“But then Lucia, and quiznack, I  _love_ that kid, just looks _so_ much like you- I, well, I began wondering if Pidge was keeping her a secret from you because there was no way in hell you left her because she was pregnant with your kid. I just don’t know what to think. One moment you two were like galaxies that have collided and then bam- it’s like it never happened. Am I making any sense? I know I’m not. All I know is, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I kept Lucia from you. I just couldn’t bring it in me to go behind Pidge's back. She’s only trying to protect Lu, I know it.”

Lance allowed the words to sink in and sat next to his friend. It was an odd time for all of them. Pidge was avoiding him all those years because she was keeping a secret - a child - from him. He’d spent years -  while married -  worrying after a woman who’d broken his heart instead of committing himself to the woman he married. They’ve both made mistakes and there was nothing else to do but to try and work things out. Even if it meant holding back the bursting love in his heart he already felt for his baby girl.

“It’s not that, Hunk. It’s just...I don’t know. It just hurts. If I’d known Lucia was mine all those years ago, I...I know I would have given everything up just to be near her. Everything.” Even if it meant selfishly breaking Allura’s heart. Even if it meant giving up his dignity and begging on his knees with the woman who'd broke his heart to let him into her life. Anything that interfered with him being with his child, he knew he would have gladly abandoned.

If he hadn’t been so goddamn  _hasty; i_ f he’d waited just waited a week more before running off to elope - none of this would have happened. Pidge would have told him that day in the diner.

He turned to his friend - who looked visibly upset - and squeezed his shoulder. He imagined being a helpless spectator to the mess that was his life couldn’t have been all that fun either.

“I’m a crappy friend...I’ve made everything about me.” He looked over to his friend with a weak smile. “How’re things with Romelle? I can help you with the proposal.”

“You don’t have to,” Hunk began with a smile. “I popped the question about a month ago. She was a little confused at first - apparently, Alteans don’t do proposals like they do on Earth - and well, after some awkward explaining, she said yes!”

“Buddy!” He abruptly stood up to hug him, squeezing him tight. “That’s amazing. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well...you were going through all um, that. I’d feel like a jerk if I broke happy news.”

“No way man. We need to celebrate!”

“So...uh, while we’re at it, I hope it’s not a weird time to make a request.”

Lance perched himself on one of the island chairs and looked at his friend expectantly. He missed this - being able to talk to his friends freely and with all the privacy he wanted. “Shoot.”

“We’re having the ceremony this Saturday.”

“ _This_ weekend?!”

“Yeah, it’s just at my parents’ garden. Nothing too fancy. It’s really intimate too; just my family, Romelle’s Altean friends, Shiro and his husband and...well, Pidge and Lu. Keith and Allura got some conference thing but they did promise to come if they could.”

“It won’t be awkward,” Lance spoke up before his friend could continue. “I promise.”

“Well...yeah. I’ve not got to the real awkward part yet.” Lance’s brow lifted and he watched his friend take in a deep breath before speaking. “I was hoping if... um, you’d be willing to  _share_  being a best man slash lady with Pidge? I mean, I can’t just choose between you guys and it’d be weirder if I went with none at all so...yeah. What do you think?”

He mulled on it for a moment.

“What does Pidge think?”

Before Hunk could reply, his phone rang.

* * *

 

“Uncle-Prince-”

“ _Lance_. Lance is fine, honey.”

Or daddy, or papi; just anything else but  _uncle_.

“Lance,” Lucia began awkwardly, shifting in his arms as he carefully guided her hands to control the kite. “Where did you learn to fly kites?”

“From my  _abuelo_.”

“Abu-way-lo?”

Lance smiled and ruffled her hair. “ _Abuelo_. My grandfather.” He had to teach her Spanish, he made a mental note to himself of that.

“My Grampy is really smart. He builds rocket ships but he’s not good with kites. Mommy isn’t too,” she tutted like one of his aunts would once they've heard gossip. Lance chuckled and brushed a kiss to her hair. She was adorable beyond words and his family would smother her with love once they knew about her.

He slowly turned the winder to let out more string and smiled as Lucia gasped. The kite flew even higher till it was nothing more than a speck of red in the clear blue skies.

“It’s gonna fly away!”

“It won’t,” he reassured her gently, placing the winder in her palm. “When the wind gets too strong, just pull it back slowly, like this.” He watched as Lucia’s tiny fingers pulled back the string onto the winder. She struggled for a bit as a gust hit them, but she nudged away Lance’s ready fingers to do it herself. He couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride burn in his chest looking at his daughter. She had her mother’s grit for sure.

“I’m flyin’ it!” Lu laughed in delight; easily the sweetest sound Lance ever heard.

“Good job!” he beamed proudly as the kite twirled freely in the wind. He slowly moved his arms away from the little girl and she turned to give him a grin that made his heart collapse in itself. He understood his brother now; how his little girl’s smile was enough to undo him.

“Thanks Mr. Lance!”

His grin slipped, only for a fraction of a second. “Anytime, kiddo.”

With that, Lu raced off, up the grassy hills with her kite, her sandals kicking up dirt as she maneuvered it just as he taught her to. He wondered if dexterity was something that could be inherited - Pidge was the least sporty person he knew.

“Juice box?” Pidge came up behind him, offering him a small container. Lance shrugged and took an experimental sip. He winced as the no-sugar drink coated his tongue.

“I figured you’d be the type to let her eat whatever she wants,” Lance sighed, settling himself on the grass. When Pidge didn’t move, he looked up at her and patted the spot next to him. She rolled her eyes and plopped down.

“I mostly am, but it’s kinda hard to with all the health pamphlets I get from her school,” Pidge sighed. A quiet settled between them - a good kind - and Lance wondered if it was a smart move to ask her if they could expedite their plan. He wasn't sure if he could handle one more 'mister' or 'uncle'.

The park they were at was filled with families - mostly young couples and their kids. He saw dads making sausages on a grill, throwing frisbees, playing with drones or gently rocking a baby to sleep. He was one among them now, he realized. Only his own daughter didn’t know that.

“Has Lu ever asked after her father?” he murmured, hoping he wasn’t treading on uncomfortable territory. The sharp inhale from his right indicated he had.

“Yes,” Pidge began with a sigh. “Many times.”

“What did you say to her?”

Pidge bit her lip and tore her gaze away from Lu to her hands. She looked as though she was thinking hard for a moment before closing her eyes in what looked like defeat. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for her answer.

“You died while out on a mission. A bunch of space pirates invaded the ship, and you sacrificed yourself to save the crew.”

Lance blinked slowly. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but certainly not that. “Well, I was quite the hero.”

Pidge shrugged and stretched her legs out before her.

“She never asked for pictures?”

“Destroyed in a house fire along with the computers that held all soft copies.”

Lance’s brows rose and he huffed. “Looks like you had everything sorted out.”

“Almost. I wasn’t planning on lying to her forever. I figured...I figured I’d tell her when she was old enough to understand.”

“And when were you planning to tell me?” It was a cheap shot, but Pidge only rolled her eyes at him.

“Look, it was around the time there were rumors going around that Allura was pregnant.” Lance winced and scrubbed his face tiredly. Boy, that did not bring back good memories. Before royal life, he'd severely underestimated how off the tabloids were. Allura and he weren't even sharing a bed at that point of their marriage.

Pidge glanced out to the fields where Lucia ran with her kite. “I just...It just didn’t feel like the right time. She’s too young and...it would have felt like- I would have felt like-”

Her voice cracked and Lance sat up to touch her shoulder. She flinched and he quickly pulled his hand away. “Pidge, it’s fine. I didn’t think you’d actually answer,” he mumbled sheepishly.

His phone buzzed with a text and Lance unlocked it to read it - realizing too late it was still open to where he was looking at her picture that morning.

“You  _still_ have that photo?!” Lance blanched and quickly shoved his phone into his pocket. Pidge glared at him with such an intensity, he worried if his hair was going to get scotched off. “Delete it, Lance. I-”

“What did you crave?” he interrupted. It was a weird question to ask her directly, but for some reason, he hadn’t been able to take his mind away from it.

“...what?”

“When you were pregnant, what did you crave?” he repeated patiently.

Pidge gaped at him, but he tilted his head towards her; he wanted an answer.

“...peanut butter and egg sandwiches,” she winced the same time as he dd as she said it. “I don’t know why. I couldn’t stomach most foods if it didn’t have peanut butter slathered on it. I think I dipped pickles in them too once. With chicken though? Strangely delicious.” 

Lance shrugged. “I’ve heard of weirder.”

“Why are you-”  

“How much did Lu weigh when she was born?”

Pidge frowned at him, but gave in. “Eight pounds, two ounces.”

“Holy shit,” he grinned wide as he glanced over to his phone’s screen and tapped through till a photo of Lu as an infant lit up. Lu had looked deceptively small in Pidge’s arms.

“That’s what Matt said,” a small smile twitched to her lips. Her eyes dropped to his phone and the smile vanished.

“Nadia knows, doesn’t she?”

“She does.”

“And Veronica…”

“Is kept in the dark. It’s all my fault, I begged Nadia not to tell anyone.”

He shook his head and rested his head in his hands. “How...how are we going to tell everyone.”

“I don’t know,” she groaned, rubbing her eyes tiredly. He’d thought he was the only one struggling with sleep.

She avoided his gaze and pulled into herself, hugging her legs to herself. It was fall, but it was a sunny day out. He remembered how easily Pidge felt cold and he quickly tugged off his hoodie to drape around her shoulders. Pidge made a move to protest, but Lucia came hurtling towards them, kite in her hands.

“Mommy, did you see?! I flew it all by myself! It flew all the way to the moon!”

“I did baby, you did such a good job!” she opened her arms and her precious baby -  _his_ too - fell into them. Lu giggled as Pidge tackled her with kisses.

“Ever been to Varadero, Lu?” Lance spoke up, earning a scathing glare from Pidge.

“No, what’s that?”

“Lance…” the warning tone in Pidge's voice made him smirk.

“It’s a special place,” he reached forward to brush back her hair gently. His mother would faint if she knew this beautiful little girl was a part of their family too. Rachel would say it was like a plot straight from a telenovela. “It has beautiful beaches.”

“I’ve never been to a beach,” Lu began solemnly, earning a face palm from her mother.

“Katie?”

“Yeah?”

“What the fu-fudge?”

“I’ve been busy,” she pulled her daughter tight to her chest, nuzzling her till she wriggled out of her grasp.

Lance shook his head. “Well...I’m visiting my family this weekend, after Hunk’s wedding.”

“Lance, no." This time, she looked genuinely frightened. "It’s too soon.”

“But Mommy, I know how to swim now! I’m ready!”

“Lu, shush. Lance, I’m serious.”

Lance sighed but he relented. He had to break the news to his family gently. Something like this, especially hot in the heels of his divorce, was probably going to result in a catastrophe of some sort.

A tiny part of him, however, was glad that he could be there to see his little girl’s first day on the beach.

* * *

 

_“I see him Sir, he’s with the small human child. Female. Approximately five human years of age.”_

_“Is it his offspring?”_

_“I cannot confirm, but they do share a resemblance.”_

_“Watch her. She’ll be one of our targets.”_

_“Yes Sir.”_

* * *

 

_Five years prior_

“Mornin’ sleepyhead,” a raspy voice greeted beneath her. The warm body that ensconced her rumbled with laughter as she grumbled expletives and attempted wriggling out of the arms that kept her close to a bare chest. Kisses were pressed to her brow as she slowly opened her eyes, sighing with the contentment that she only ever felt whenever he was with her.

Her legs were tangled in his and she’d lodged her head against the crook of his neck. Snug as a bug in a rug - she understood that expression now. 

“Pidge...I know we’ve just been having fun but...I need to tell you something.”

“What are you talking about you weirdo?” she laughed nervously, wriggling a little. She knew exactly what he was talking about and she fully dreaded this day for the past two months. Lance’s chest heaved and she felt his arms surround her, gently resting her body in the sheets to hover over her. His eyes - and damn the stars were they her weakness - looked earnestly into hers in that same intensity that landed her beneath him. 

“I...I’m in love with you.” Oh. She wasn’t expecting  _that_. “These past few weeks...wow. It’s just been bliss. I couldn’t go a day without thinking about you, Pidge. I’ve been holding back because I didn’t want us to ruin our friendship and this no strings attached-thing we have going on but...I don’t know how long I can keep it from you.” His thumb tenderly traced over her brow; a gentle, touch she didn't deserve.

Her eyes widened as he touched her cheek and he kissed her lips softly. His lips moved to her cheekbone, her eyelids and her forehead. A soft “I love you” following each kiss, each achingly sweet as he was.

This should be a dream come true for her, but it felt like a nightmare.

“No. No you’re not.”

Above her, Lance stilled, likely unsure if she looked distressed, or was just plain overwhelmed. Pidge would’ve have told him it was both. She gulped hard before speaking. “Lance...we had fun.” She pulled her eyes away from his - the pain in them made the pain in her chest worse. “But... I never thought of us in  _that_  way. I'm sorry.” She was the worst liar alive, but the barely noticeable wince was enough for her to tell that her words did their damage.

“Oh,” was all Lance could manage. She touched his cheek gently and leaned up to give him a soft kiss to his lips. Her heart sank to her belly as he pulled his head away. It took him awhile, but eventually, he shifted away from her to sit heavily on the edge of her bed. The quietness in the room was too much for her. She stared at his bare back for a moment, unsure of what to say to him. She'd planned this night in her head - for them to end amicably so he could move on with Allura like she thought he would. This was not how it was supposed to go.

“I…I have to get some stuff done at the Garrison. Feel free to raid the pantry,” she laughed nervously, all the while feeling like the biggest asshole in the universe. She stumbled out of bed - almost reaching for his discarded dress shirt on her floor out of pure habit - to grab her clothes and underwear. She hastily tugged on a clean Garrison jacket while sidestepping the dress Lance tore off her body only a few hours ago.

She paused by her bedroom door, watching the man anxiously. His face was unreadable, but Katie never had been good with that. Lance always was an open book but this time was an exception.

“Bye, Lance. I’ll see you soon, ‘kay?”

He didn’t return her goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love to hear your thoughts ♥


	5. the right to hold you

_Five years prior_

 

Katie was certain she was far too old to be crying in a bathroom stall, just as she used to do in middle school to escape her bullies. This time, instead of school, it was in an upscale restaurant she didn’t like all that much. Here she was, twenty-one years of age and sobbing her heart out over some _boy_. 

But it wasn’t just _any_ boy. This was a boy who, despite her hostility, made every attempt to befriend her. One who comforted her when she tired of putting on a brave front and made every moment together fun and memorable just so she could forget the stresses of saving the universe. This is the boy - now a _man_ \- who’d saved her life many times without ever thinking of his own. 

That man, was Lance.

She had to deal with reality, harsh as it was. Lance had pined after Allura almost as long as Katie had pined after him. She knew how a deep longing like that felt and how utterly _impossible_ it was to just shove aside those feelings. But unlike her, Lance's dreams of love came true. He’d taken Allura to see his family, kissed her (she sorely regretted sending Rover out to 'collect samples' that night) and had asked her to be his girlfriend - all on the very day she’d been hoping to finally confess her feelings to him. 

Though three whole years had passed since that night, Katie couldn’t help but feel silly. The ‘royal lovers’ may have broken up months ago, but it was clear as day to her that Lance was still in love with Allura. She saw it in his eyes, the pain in them whenever a bystander or waiter asked after Allura. The way his spirit dimmed and his usual infectious enthusiasm dampened by a miasma she knew too well. 

For nearly two months now, she and Lance had been “not-dating” (really, it was a friends-with-benefits arrangement but it bothered her less to think of it the other way); a decision she’d made for them. She knew what she was getting herself into, and what Lance could expect from her; she truly had no good reason to be upset. Lance wasn’t hers to claim - never was - and the maitre d’ outside the restaurant who’d innocently asked Lance after Allura’s absence, rendering herself invisible, wasn’t to blame for her tears. 

It was like she was irrelevant. People still recognized her; anyone would recognize a Holt after all her family’s been through. But next to Lance, the ex-lover of a universally famous alien princess, she was inconsequential. She had to guess being referred to as somebody's ex wasn’t that much better for Lance either. He was a hero of his own right who’d put the lives of the people he loved before his own. Lance was so much more than an arm candy of royalty.

But Katie saw the hurt in his eyes whenever he reluctantly revealed to people that he was no longer with Allura. It hurt her too.

The door to the washroom creaked open and she quickly covered her mouth. Tears still streamed down her cheeks, but she hastily brushed them away. 

“Did you see that new girl with Princess Allura’s ex? Damn, he’s already dating other people!”

“Nah, they’re not dating. That’s Katie Holt, one of the Voltron paladins. I heard they are really good friends.” 

“Ah, that’s a shame. I thought he’d finally moved on.”

“Honestly, any girl after a magical space Princess is gonna be a rebound. That’s for sure.” 

“Oof, wouldn’t want to be that chick.”

Katie held her breath, waiting till both women left before leaving her stall. As she washed her hands glumly, she stared at herself in the mirror. The light coating of mascara she’d bothered to smear on left grey smudges around her eyes and dark streaks down her cheeks. She looked defeated - a look she did not want to identify with in the slightest. 

With a heavy sigh, she cleaned her face, angrily scrubbing off the make-up she’d stupidly applied in the hopes of looking like a date - not a ‘sisterly’ friend - and ran her hands through her pinned hair till it fell into her usual chopped bob. At least now, even with the ache in her chest, she looked and felt like herself. 

She had to end things, for her own sanity. She had to let him go, and let him run back to the woman he truly loved and needed to be with. She'll muster the courage, and break up with him tonight.

After making sure she didn't look like she'd been crying for fifteen minutes, she returned to her seat. Katie avoided Lance’s concerned gaze and quietly set the napkin back on her lap. 

“Are you...alright? Your eyes are-” 

“Positive,” she cleared her throat and forced a grin. “It’s my allergies. It’s the spring air, y’know?” 

She knew Lance was staring intently at her, likely waiting for her to talk or give an explanation for why she’d been perfectly composed fifteen minutes ago but had returned red-eyed and puffy, but she distracted herself with the menu.

“The fish looks good,” she commented idly, cringing at how hoarse her voice had become. There was no escaping now.

“Pidge, look at me.” 

She pretended not to hear him and fiddled with her phone. Her finger hovered over a news article that claimed to have insider information on the ‘royal break-up’ and it took all the willpower she had to not tap it even when she knew it was all baloney. 

Her phone was snatched out her hands and she was finally forced to look up at him in annoyance. She rolled her eyes as he tucked her phone into his coat pocket. 

“You’ve been acting weird all evening.”

“Really?” she picked up her menu again and looked over the dessert options for the hundredth time. If she had to look at something, she’d rather it wasn’t the deep blues of his eyes.

“Do you wanna get outta here?” Lance sighed, setting down his menu. “I mean, I should have guessed you wouldn’t like a place like this. I just really wanted to take you somewhere nice.” 

He tugged uncomfortably at the knot of his tie and Katie absolutely hated herself for all the vile thoughts that entered her head. That was what their entire ‘relationship’ was: carnal, depraved and certainly not romantic. It was sweet of Lance to insist that they eat out together each time, but every single one of their not-dates ended the same way and she was sure tonight was no exception.

“Sure, your place or mine?”

Lance stiffened and looked over to her with an odd look. She wasn’t sure what to make of it; was he not in the mood that night? He leaned forward and grabbed the menu from her, carefully setting it on top of his own. “I meant…” he sighed and ran a hand through his gelled hair. He did look handsome, but Katie far preferred the sexy, tousled mess she was treated to every morning. “Look, I know a good diner just a few minutes downtown, they’re open till late and they’ve got an all-day breakfast menu.”

The thought of pancakes made her stomach grumble and served as enough of a confirmation for Lance as he was now grinning at her. He grabbed her arm and tugged her out of the restaurant, waving past a confused maitre d' after slipping a bill to his pocket. 

The car ride to their new destination was quiet. Lance had made it a point to switch off the music and Katie desperately hoped he was not about to prod her further. It was obvious to him that she was crying and she wasn’t entirely sure if he’d picked up the reason why. 

She had to do it tonight. She’ll pay for dinner and then carefully, _calmly_ tell him that work was going to make their ‘thing’ difficult. 

“Do you have a date to Veronica’s wedding?”

Katie blinked at him; that came out of left field for her. She slowly shook her head. “Nadia’s tried to set me up with some people,” she managed, her voice a little raspy but she sounded like her usual self. “But I think I’ll go stag. Or doe. Whatever.”

Lance fidgeted in his seat and waited till they hit a red light before reaching forward to grab her hand. There was a wide, earnest smile on his face and Katie knew she was in for a difficult time. “Why don’t we go together?” 

She licked her lips, tearing her gaze away from him to her lap. It wasn’t a small request. Had it been any other man, Katie would have assumed that it meant he wanted something more. But she knew Allura couldn’t attend his sister’s wedding. That had to be the reason why he was asking her. She was a backup.

“S-sure.” 

“I might be a terrible date,” he warned lightheartedly, removing his hand as soon as the stoplight turned green. “The paps have been stalking me everywhere. Can’t catch a break.” He lifted his chin towards his rearview mirror where Katie saw a black sedan creep up behind them. “He’s been following us since I came to pick you up.” 

Katie sat up in alarm. “What?!” 

“Relax, they’re _mostly_ harmless. But they do get on my nerves.” 

She slumped back into her seat with a sigh. “It’s like you’re a Cuban Kate Middleton.”

Lance snorted “You’re right, we both have good hair.” 

She couldn’t help but laugh at that, feeling the tension in her body ease just the slightest. Lance’s gaze returned to her and there was a familiar spark in his eyes as he winked. He pulled into a dark, relatively empty street. Without further warning, he hit the accelerator and Katie gasped as his car sped down the street. The both of them laughed heartily. It was _almost_ as though they were out in space again, racing each other through the galaxies on their lions.

“We lost ‘em,” he dared a peek behind, slowing down finally and parking on the side of the street. “I think we’re good for now.” 

They’d reached a part of town that was unfamiliar to her, but many people milled about. Young and old couples, human and alien, entering bars, bistros and various other little shops. Lance rushed out of his seat and opened her door and she resisted the urge to roll her eyes at him as she usually would. It might be the last time she could enjoy this with him. 

She wasn’t sure if it was from the thrill of the car chase, but her heart pounded as Lance’s hand twined in hers and he guided her to the diner. It felt natural, to hold his hand. To feel the familiar calluses, the raised scar over his knuckle and how comfortingly warm it always was. But as she passed a couple gaping at Lance, immediately recognizing him and throwing confused glances her way, she found herself pulled right back to reality. 

She had to be kidding herself if she thought Lance and her had a chance in being anything more than friends. What good was it being a genius if she couldn’t even piece _that_ together; it would have saved her a lot of heartbreak. He needed to go back to the one woman he was always meant to be with.

As Lance squeezed her hand gently, running his thumb over hers in a manner that was all too reassuring, she made up her mind. 

After the wedding, she’ll let him go.

 

* * *

 

_Present Day_

 

Katie sighed heavily as she closed her daughter’s room door behind her. All she wanted to do, was to collapse in her bed and sleep the rest of the evening off. But she still had dinner to prepare, a project report to write and a disgruntled four-year-old to talk to before her bedtime. 

“How is she?” her mother asked, sipping on a mug of her tea as she lounged back on the couch. She only shook her head in reply and rubbed her eyes tiredly. It was her mistake to have taken Lucia to the mall.

“She’s giving me the silent treatment, I think,” Katie huffed, going over to her coffee maker to make herself a cup. “I’ve put her in her reading nook for some ‘quiet time’”. Her mother barely hid her smile into her mug and Katie rolled her eyes. “Is this the part where you tell me I was just like her?”

Her mother shook her head, giving her an amused smile. “If you were throwing a tantrum, you made sure everyone around the vicinity know.” Katie winced at that. She couldn’t imagine dealing with herself. “I used to let your father take over. He'd let you play with his prototypes, talk you through them and soon you’d forget you were screaming for a second puppy.”

“I guess I’m lucky Lu only throws herself on the floor and refuses to budge.” 

“It’s the Italian blood,” her mother laughed. “We’re stubborn. It’s nightmarish in toddlers but as adults? I’d say it becomes a valuable asset.” 

“Well, I can’t just _wait_ till she's a teenager,” Katie snorted, but smiling nonetheless. She’d hoped her daughter would take after Lance in temperament but it was clear it was all her. It was difficult to not find it endearing. Her willingness to speak with strangers as though they were her closest friends though? Entirely from her daddy and maybe not as endearing. 

“You were saying Mr. Thorpe spoke with you?” Colleen spoke up, putting down her mug and going over to the fridge to pull the ingredients for their dinner. 

“Yeah…” her forehead creased with worry. There was _that_. 

Lucia’s teacher had reassured her over and over that it was not out of the ordinary for children Lucia’s age to be a little behind and that most do eventually catch up, but it seeded doubt in her ever-anxious mind nonetheless and left her nothing short of stressed. 

“Well?” her mother glanced over, washing vegetables in the sink. “Don’t leave me in suspense.” 

“Lu’s a little behind on reading.” She bit her lip and focused instead on stirring sugar into her coffee. It was hard not to think it was her fault in that aspect. Matt and herself had always been ‘gifted’ as kids and she imagined Lance didn’t struggle all that much in school if he’d made it to the Garrison. “He did say she’s a few years ahead in math and talks more fluently than others her age, though.”

“Well, that’s good.” Colleen went over to her to squeeze her shoulder. “It’s nothing unusual, dear. Don’t worry.” 

“What if it’s because I don’t have the time to read to her?”

“Katie, don’t be silly. Your father and I read bedtime stories to her whenever we have her. Some kids just need a little more time with some things. What’s important is that she’s adjusting well and she’s happy.” 

She was reluctant to agree, but knew her mother was probably right. Being anxious over the matter wasn’t going to make it any better either. 

Her phone vibrated in her pocket and she pulled it out, groaning in annoyance at the text. 

“The representatives from the Bulean sector are coming _this_ Friday. Can’t they just get a human calendar already?!” Katie rested her head in her hands, dropping her phone onto the counter. She had planned on taking Lucia to the local library and get a kick start on spending time to read together. “Mom, can you look after Lu on Friday?” 

“I can’t honey, I’ve got evening classes scheduled,” her mother dug around her purse and pulled out her planner. “I believe your father’s going to a conference in sector sixty-one on that day too.” 

Katie sighed and leaned her forearms on the counter, scrolling through her contacts list. Nadia was days away from an eight-month-long mission and she imagined her friend would want to spend every day with her wife. She was already roped in to look after Lu two days before she left so she could spend time with her favorite niece. “Mabel’s gone on exchange and Andy's not free on Fridays.” 

No parents, no Nadia and not even the sitters she’d carefully vetted before allowing her daughter to be with them alone. It was far too late to look for a new one without the deep research into their backgrounds that she needed for her own peace of mind. She was only _somewhat_ of a paranoid mother. 

“Why don’t you ask Lu’s father?” her mother suggested placidly, crossing something off her planner. “About time he did some parenting.” 

 

* * *

 

 

“My research tells me you are consuming more alcohol than the human liver cou-”

“Tavo, it’s none of your business.” He took a deep breath to calm himself and rubbed his temples. It took everything in his power not to snap at someone whose entire job description had to do with looking out for his well-being. He was not about to make an ass of himself. “I’m...sorry. I’ve had a wild couple of days, you can’t even imagine.”  

Tavo was silent for a moment before he resumed disposing the rest of his mess. Guilt ate at him and Lance quickly stooped down to help him. He had a daughter to think about and the last thing he wanted was for his kid to learn that her deadbeat dad couldn’t even keep himself together. 

It was hard not to be on edge. When he opened his eyes every morning, the first thought that came to mind, was that he had a daughter. He was a father of a four year old; one with a head full of curls, his eyes and her mother's smile. 

Pidge had called him the night before, asking if he could babysit. In his eagerness to spend more time with his little girl, he’d hastily agreed to it without thinking and had spent the past two days panic-cleaning. Luckily for him, Tavo had arrived yesterday and had covered more ground than he could have done on his own. 

His room was now spotless; his curtains laundered and fitted sheets pristinely tucked in. His kitchen gleamed; marble countertops looking as expensive as they were and all the stainless steel finishings good as new. The putrid air from rotting take-out and half-empty alcohol bottles had gone and his place now scented pleasantly of the pumpkin spice candles he used to shamelessly love. He had to admit - even if it was on a superficial level - he felt like his old self again. He reminded himself to tell Allura to give Tavo a massive raise. 

Tavo and himself spoke casually, Lance now relieved that they were on more equal standing than before. The Altean was something of a friend in his time in Arus and even if he was paid to look after him, Lance felt comfortable around him and never regarded him as a ‘servant’.

He caught up on Arusian news, how a former bodyguard of his had quit the Neo Altean forces and also how much happier Allura looked. He was genuinely happy for her, proud that she was the Queen she was destined to be and hoped that one day, he would have the courage to tell her about Lucia.

“Miss Holt is aware of my presence?” Tavo queried while tying up the final trash bag full of crushed beer cans. “I’ve had some experience minding children but I imagine Altean ones aren’t quite the same as humans.” 

“She seemed fine with it,” he shrugged. In reality, Pidge had been anxious that Tavo would report to Allura about Lucia, but he’d given her his word that Tavo was only there to help him. 

The doorbell rang and Lance wildly gestured to him to hide the trash bag. He hurriedly checked his reflection, fixed his hair and took a final glance around his place. With a deep breath, he made his way to the front door. Fixing a wide smile on his face, he opened it.

“Hey-”

“I’m running late. The reps are already here and my phone is blowing up with calls from the Garrison. I can’t stay long.” 

“Hi Uncle Lance!” Lucia greeted him brightly, Bae Bae under one arm and a bright green backpack decorated with spaceships in the other. Lance bent down to get it for her, smiling gently at her. But as soon as he did, she dashed past him, giggling happily as she took in the breathtaking views from his large windows. “Look Bae Bae! You can see the mountains from here!” 

Lance chuckled and pulled himself upright, looking over to Pidge. “I’m happy you came to me. I figured you’d go to your parents-”

“They’re both busy,” she cut him off primly, walking past him to pack Lu’s food into his fridge.

“Oh. I thought they retired.”

“Yeah, that lasted all of one year,” Pidge snorted, slamming the fridge door shut. “After Lu weaned, Mom accepted tenure at Plaht U. Dad still has business with the Garrison. He doesn’t trust the newbies with his rocket babies.” 

His cheeks warmed. “I...I didn’t know. I'm s-” 

“It’s fine. We didn’t exactly have a chance to catch-up these past five years.” 

The understatement of the century, he thought sourly. He tucked his hands into his jeans pockets, unsure of what else to say to her. In the past, Lance knew exactly what to do when she was in a foul mood. Now, he wasn’t too sure of himself. 

“Well, I’m not really doing anything much for the whole of next week except for when I fly to Varadero tomorrow night but you’re more than welcome to leave her here whenever else...y’know, kind of like a daddy daycare. Heh.” His grin dropped when he realized Pidge didn’t look too amused.

“Was that supposed to reassure me?”

“No...but just a reminder that you can now rely on your baby daddy too.” 

Even if he had an urge to fling himself off the building as soon as he’d said those words, he felt an odd sense of satisfaction when Pidge’s face flamed. She brushed past him to head towards Tavo, who was doing a very poor job of pretending to read the junk mail on the kitchen counter. The Altean sat up, flustered to have the tiny woman look up at him with a withering stare.

“Her bedtime’s eight. No screens past seven. No sugar past six-”

“Woah, seriously? A little militant don’t you think?”

Pidge turned around slowly to glower at him and Lance actually felt himself recoil slightly in fear. 

“If you want a hyperactive tyke tearing up your apartment when she should be sleeping, be my guest.”

“She’s in good hands,” Tavo reassured her, tactfully ushering Pidge to the door. “We’ll call if we need anything.” 

Pidge stopped in her tracks and glanced over to her child. The tension on her face left momentarily and something in him melted as he saw the tender look in her eyes, already worrying after her precious baby when she was barely two steps out of the door. It was obvious who was the one who really had separation anxiety.

“Be good to Uncle Lance and Uncle Tavo, okay baby? I’ll be back soon.” 

“Bye Mommy!” Lucia ran to her mother, hugging her legs tight.  “I love you!”  

He looked away, pretending to rub dust out of his eyes as Pidge bent down to hug her tight. 

 

* * *

 

"Have you got kids, Mr Lance?"

Lance blanked for a moment, his mind whirling with the question. On-screen, his character died and he sighed in frustration. Lu resumed playing with the controls, completely unaware of what each button did, but content to smash them randomly for the fun of it. 

He really didn’t want to lie to his little girl, not when it looked like Pidge might let him get closer to her. He gulped and nodded slowly. 

_Yes. It’s you, mija._

“Yeee-ah. I have a little girl,” he answered finally, if only to break the awkward silence. Awkward for him, at least. Lu was blissfully unaware. 

They’d spent the better part of the day playing catch in his apartment. Tavo being utterly confused with the game, but playing along nonetheless. As soon as he managed to coax some of the baked ziti Pidge had left for her lunch into her, she fell promptly asleep in his arms.

It was something that he hadn’t emotionally prepared for and as soon as her little head cuddled closer to his chest, Lance couldn’t help but get choked up. He’d held her for the half hour, not caring when his limbs fell asleep and tingled painfully with the lack of circulation. There were only so many years left where Lu would be this small; he’d take any chance to cradle her in his arms. 

When she finally woke (to the relief of his completely numb arm), Lu had spotted his old Gameflux and insisted that he teach her how to play...only to completely ignore his instructions and play as she pleased. It was why he was on the couch, allowing himself to be sorely defeated by his daughter. 

“Where is she?” Lucia looked about his apartment, looking for his supposed daughter. It was ridiculous how badly he wanted to tell her everything. About her heritage, the other half of her family: grandparents, aunts, uncles and her cousins.   

She spotted the small mural of family photos Tavo helped him hang that morning and pointed to an old photo of Sylvio and Nadia. “Is that her?”

_No, those are your cousins._

“No, that’s my niece. I...I don’t have many pictures of my daughter.” Well, that was lie number one. He had an entire disk of her life. 

“Why?” Lucia blinked her wide eyes up at him; the very ones that were too much like Pidge’s and made him take his breath away each and every time. Lance had been through worse situations. He’d been tortured as a paladin by Galrans and even _that_ didn’t compare to the anxiety he felt now. 

Just as Lucia was about to poke his petrified face, the doorbell rang and relief washed over him. He stood up abruptly, ignoring Tavo’s “I’ll get it” and marched straight for the door. He peered through the peephole and found himself frozen as he laid his eyes on his new guest.

“Tavo!” he hissed, covering the peephole as if it’d make any difference. He gestured wildly to Lucia and then to his room. The man’s brows rose, but he complied nonetheless, producing a strange Altean device from his pocket to lure her away from the living room.  Lance waited till he heard the door to his room click shut and opened it a fraction.

“Hey-”

“Hey loser. Haven’t seen you in a while.”

His eldest sister pushed past him, arms filled with bags and whistled in admiration as she took in his place. “Fancy fixings baby bro. It’s like you’re the trophy wife who’d won a good payout.” 

“I bought this on my own,” he rolled his eyes. “Years ago. With the reward money they gave to the paladins.” 

“Wow, I’m impressed. Where did you learn to invest? I thought you’d blow it all on cars or girls.”  Veronica shook her head, admiring the view from the large bay windows. “Nadia would love a place like this. We thought about moving someplace bigger after my promotion- and, well, other stuff was supposed to happen - but we got attached to our place." 

"What other stuff?"

There was a brief flash of sadness in her eyes that broke his heart. Growing up, of all his siblings, he feared her the most. But it was only because of her tough-love approach. She was the most sincere sister and was something of a mother-figure the times he’d been homesick cadet at the Garrison. Seeing her less than her iron-willed self startled him. He wanted to reach out to her; hug her, tell her about his beautiful daughter she’d missed out on knowing for four years. Tell her how much her wife loved her, but was terrified to death about telling her about their niece. 

For a split second, Veronica’s gaze lifted and it looked like she might share the troubles in her heart to him. Instead, she shrugged, avoiding his gaze. "Oh, we were going to adopt a kid on our fifth anniversary but... we've pushed it back."

Lance felt a shiver run down his spine at the mention of children. He gulped and quickly tried to change the topic, hastily filling a kettle with water. He’ll serve a cup of tea and find an excuse to leave his apartment with her. As much as he missed his sister - and sensed that she needed someone to talk to - but he couldn’t have her linger for too long. He wasn’t sure if Tavo could contain Lu for much longer. She hated sitting still and he imagined that was his own genes to blame. 

“I don’t wanna sound rude but… why are you here?” He kept his tone light and playful, knowing that she wouldn’t take offence. He just had to stop fidgeting so goddamn much.

“Mom told me you weren't eating right so Nadia and I cooked up a storm," she nodded towards the bags. "Also…" her tone took on a softer tone. "There’s been weird headlines running, with pictures of you.”

“Oh, so the usual?”

“Yeah...I guess.” Veronica set down a bag of food on his kitchen island. “I just...I guess I just wanted to see you in-person instead of a trashy gossip magazine for once. It’s just- they had new material.”

“What do you mean?”

Veronica reached into her pocket and pulled out a crumpled ball. She smoothed it out shakily and and turned it towards him. 

_Royal Divorce Update: Earth harlot to blame for split?!_

He frowned and grabbed the scrap, scanning it quickly. At the very bottom, a blurred image showed two figures with their heads bent close towards the other. The discerning detail the article found, was that the anonymous woman in the photo was wearing his hoodie. They’d made the effort to blur Pidge’s face, he was grateful for that, but something in him had snapped as soon as he’d read the supposed ‘juicy details’. He crushed it tightly in his palm. It surprised him how angry it was. It wasn’t at all something new to him but this time, they were targeting Pidge and it made his blood boil.

“I knew it was fake,” Veronica exhaled in relief, staring expectantly at his face. It mildly insulted him that his sister would even entertain the possibility that he would cheat on Allura, but he guessed with his secret ‘lovechild’ hidden in his room only a few feet away, he didn’t really have much of a right to get mad at her. 

“It’s real,” he threw the crumpled ball into his trash can where it bounced on the lip before tipping in. “The picture, at least. Everything else is pure speculation.” 

“Oh,” Veronica blinked. “Well, who was that woman you were with?” 

“Pidge.” 

His sister had become very quiet and Lance quietly berated himself. She had been the first person to seem him curled up in his apartment, distraught and dysfunctional for an entire week right after Pidge had unceremoniously ‘dumped’ him. Not even Hunk was privy to the zombie he’d turned into at that time. His sister had been the one to drag him out, given him a good figurative (and literal) slap to the face to snap him out of his self-imposed pity party and forced him to get back into the swing of things. Life went on, after all. 

“Oh-kay.” She exhaled deeply and ran a hand through her dark waves. She’d cropped it closer to her head since he last saw her; it reminded him too much of his daughter’s own short curls. “Well, what did you guys talk about?”

He knew what she was really wanting to ask, but played it dumb. He kept his expression neutral, rummaging through his cupboards for her favored chamomile tea and shrugged. “Just caught up. We hadn’t spoken in years so...just life in general.” 

He heard a soft, whiny “Why!” from his room and quickly yelped exaggeratedly, pretending to have burnt his fingers on the kettle. Veronica watched him warily, tilting her head towards him.

“Need help boiling water, your Highness?” 

“Very funny, Ronnie,” he answered flatly, pouring the hot water into the mug slowly and hoping she didn’t notice the way his hands quivered. 

“Do you think I could stay here tonight? Nadia’s gone to her parents’ for the weekend and I hate sleeping alone.” 

“No! I, um, I got my hands full tonight. I’m babysitting Pidge’s kid.” 

“Lucia?! Oh, I haven’t seen her since she was a newborn! Nadia loves that kid to death! Lemme see her.” 

“Ronnie pl-”

“Uncle Lance!” The little girl in question ran into his kitchen and Lance felt his world tip upside down. “Mr Tavo said I could have a cookie.” 

“ _If_ you sat still,” the Altean man sighed tiredly rushing in after her. Clearly, he wasn’t accustomed to child care being one of his duties. “I’m sorry Sir.”

But Lance was far too distracted to respond to him. He watched his sister’s wide grin slowly drop as she took in the little girl. He knew _exactly_ what was running through her head. He’d gone through the exact thought process himself. First, it was the complexion. Then the hair, and then the distinct dark blues of her eyes.

Unlike him, his sister wasn't stupid and realization hit her way faster than it did him.

“Lance…” She began shakily. His heart rate accelerated in tandem. Her voice had gone dangerously soft. “I need a word. In private.”

“But-”

 _"Now_.”

 

* * *

 

Pidge paled and sat heavily on his couch. He knelt down next to her, a hand hovering over her shoulder hesitantly before gently resting on it. She didn’t flinch. Hopefully, it meant they were making progress. 

“I’m done for,” she muttered. Lance squeezed her shoulder gently.

" _We're_ done for.” 

“That doesn’t make things better Lance!” Pidge hissed under her breath, mindful of a snoozing Lucia only a few feet away in his guestroom. “This is literally my worst nightmare! It’s the kind of shit that keeps me up!”

“Uh, yeah. You’re not alone anymore.” He squeezed her shoulder again, determined not to be put off by her hostility and fully intent on showing her he would give the support she needed. She was panicking with good reason. A five year secret was out and for him, Veronica had to be the _last_ person on Earth he would have wanted to find out in the manner she did. “Veronica’s my doing. I’ll handle her and my family. Don’t worry.” 

The fear turned to panic in her eyes and Lance regretted mentioning the rest of his family. Even _he_ had to admit that his family was a lot to deal with. As lovely as they were, they could get overwhelming and his own flair for dramatics didn’t manifest out of nowhere. 

He liked to think he knew Veronica well, but he was completely unsure of what she was going to do. As soon as he gave his explanation, she’d left so quietly and without another word nor backward glance, Lance wished she would have screamed at him instead. The lack of emotion on her face terrified him.

One thing he _was_ sure of when it came to his sister, was that she never impulsive. Unlike him, she operated on logic rather than instinct and it was exactly why she was an excellent analyst. He knew she wouldn't run to tattle to their family; at least, not immediately.

“Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it later. We have a wedding to attend tomorrow.” Pidge rested her head in her hands and Lance couldn't help but feel sorry for her. He's had Lucia for a few hours and he was already exhausted to the bone. He'd forgotten how Sylvio and Nadia were like at that age. Pidge had a full time job and a child to tame into bed everyday all on her own. "C'mon." He nudged her knee. "You said it yourself, bedtime's eight sharp. It's already half past nine."

She brushed his arm aside and finally stood up. “Quiznack, I can’t even think straight. Look, I’m shaking.” She lifted her hands and showed him and indeed, there was a slight tremor in them. Everything in him wanted to collect her in his arms and hold her tight, but he knew that he wasn’t about to test those waters with her while she was distressed. Pidge rubbed her eyes tiredly and stretched. “Ugh, I have to deal with night traffic too.” 

"I have a perfectly functional guestroom-"

"Lance, no." 

 _"Stay_ , Katie. It’s late. I finally got her to sleep; wouldn’t do her any good to jostle her now.” 

“I-I really shouldn’t.”

“Well, you should,” Lance stood to his full height, changing tactic now. “I’m not letting my daughter get into a car with a driver who’s clearly sleep-deprived and exhausted out of her mind.” 

 

* * *

 

“Okay, three, two, one, cheese!” 

“Why do humans mention dairy products befor-”

“Romelle, my lovely wife, just look in front please.” 

“Mommy I want another cake!” 

The photographer, a cousin of Hunk’s, sighed as he stood up from the viewfinder and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Flower girl! Look in front! Bride, the camera is not my head, it’s this here. And groom? You look constipated.”

“Just take it already Luke,” Hunk rolled his eyes. 

“Don’t come after me. Your mom was the one that wanted every second documented.” 

Lance chuckled behind her and Katie had to resist turning her head to look at him. Lucia now squirmed in her arms, energetic with the sugar rush from the candy bar and no longer interested with plucking out the petals from her mother’s flower crown and now itching to be back on the ground, to join the ruckus Hunk’s little nieces and nephews created. 

She tightened her hold as Lucia whined to be put down. It secretly mortified her to admit, but Lucia was getting far too big for her small frame to carry for prolonged periods. She wasn’t as physically fit as she was as a teen soldier after all. It didn’t help either that Romelle had taken it upon herself to sew the most fluffy flower girl dresses, with Lucia’s skirt very nearly resembling a cloud. Lance stepped forward and collected her - _their_ \- fussy child and propped her effortlessly on his hip. 

“Don’t tell Mommy, but-” Lance comically glanced in caution her way and bent forward to stage whisper into his daughter’s ear. “If you’re a good girl and sit still for just one more minute, I’ll sneak you some cake.” 

Had it been any other day, Katie would have been so quick to snap at him. She reasoned it was the ongoing festivities, how clearly happy Lucia looked to have yet another ‘uncle’ who did nothing but spoil her senseless and...just _maybe_ also how handsome Lance looked in his suit. 

As Luke counted down yet again - and she hoped, for the final time - Lance’s other arm easily curled around her waist pulling close to him. His lips brushed briefly over her ear by accident but that was enough for her to get her cheeks flustered and for memories from the night of _another_ wedding to come to mind. “Say cheese,” Lance whispered and for the life of her, Katie didn’t know why she complied. 

With the photos finally taken, Lucia dragged Lance towards the cake, eager to cash out on his promise. Katie folded her arms and smiled, content that Lucia fully adored her “uncle” Lance. The night before, as Lucia woke to her getting into the guest bed in Lance’s apartment, she heard her daughter recount how fun he was and hoped that he would babysit again. 

It pleased her, that Lucia already loved her father, even if she didn’t know it was her father. She could only hope that Lucia would be as understanding the day she finds out the truth and it is a day Katie equally longed for and dreaded. 

“Your daughter is so lovely,” Hunk’s mother came before her with a smile. She handed her a plate piled high with food and Katie accepted it with near tears in her eyes. Being the best lady meant little to no time for refreshments. She had bridesmaids (Altean ones who were completely unaware of the Earth customs) and Earth groomsmen (human ones that had zero clue how Altean customs worked) to coordinate and a small army of two to six year olds to manage their succession down the makeshift aisle marked by fairy lights. Oddly enough, Lance and her were the best people for the job, having already experienced an Earth-Altean fusion wedding. 

“That’s kind of you to say,” Katie laughed. “I told Lu over and over in rehearsal not to run down the aisle but I guess she got really excited to race the ringbearer.” She bit into a banana fritter with gusto and moaned at the taste. “These are _delicious_.” 

“Oh! Don’t worry about it at all, I thought it was adorable. A funny memory for a beautiful day.” 

The woman nodded her head towards Lance who had now lifted Lu back in his arms, letting her inspect the various layers and flavors Hunk had baked to pick her favorite. “Lance finally got to meet her, I see. It’s so nice how she’s so good with bonding with people.” 

“Well, she certainly didn’t get it from me,” Katie quipped, plopping a dumpling into her mouth. “She gets-” she stopped herself, feeling the tips of her ears burn. Mercifully, one of Hunk’s siblings had called over Mrs Garret and Katie awkwardly waved as she walked away. 

As relieved as she was that she didn’t have to hide Lu from Lance, she had to remind herself that the rest of the world didn’t. Well, rest of the world, minus Veronica. 

“Almost slipped there, huh?” Shiro emerged from behind with a knowing look. Katie sighed and rested her head on his arm, letting the cool metal ease her throbbing forehead. “I imagine being on guard like that has got to take its toll.” 

“You can’t even imagine,” she sighed. Shiro reached up to pat her head sympathetically. 

“He knows now?” 

“Yup.”

“How did he take it?”

“...Better than I expected.” 

Shiro' sighed and folded his arms, looking at her with the gentle, sympathetic smile that was uniquely his. “What’s the next step?”

“I don’t know.” 

He looked out over to the pair, now occupied with selecting their second - Lucia’s third or fourth - round of desserts. “It’ll all work out,” he nudged her gently. “I’m sure.” 

 

* * *

 

The wedding continued into the late evening, the guests dwindling till it was just friends and family helping with the clean up. Romelle and Hunk had stylishly left on a ship - much to the delight of her daughter - for their honeymoon. Katie occupied herself with helping to dismantling the AV equipment that she hadn’t taken note of Lucia’s whereabouts. When she glanced over the corner of the garden where the children had been playing earlier, she felt a lurch in her chest to see no one there. 

She dropped the wires in her arms, picking up her skirt to walk the length of the garden. They’d begun to take down the fairy lights, shrouding much of the place in increasingly dim light. Just as she was about to call her little girl’s name out in panic, her eyes found a familiar broad-shouldered silhouette slowly swaying by the rose bushes. She pressed a hand to her chest, breathing a sigh in relief and turned back towards the stage. 

She didn't have to worry. Her baby was in the safest possible place - in her father's arms.

 

* * *

 

“Uncle Lance, are you coming to the park with us tomorrow?” 

“Aw, I wish I can kiddo. But I’m flying to Varadero tonight.”

“The beach?” Lucia yawned and leaned her cheek on his shoulder. Lance’s heart turned to putty in an instant. This - this was what he craved the most: the feeling of his little girl safe in his arms. “Can you take me with you?” 

He chuckled and pressed a lazy kiss to Lu’s forehead. “Maybe one day, when your mom has time off work.” 

“I wanna fly my kite on the beach,” she yawned again and Lance had to resist the urge to press adoring kisses on her round cheeks. Something as mundane as a yawn shouldn’t be so adorable. “Auntie Nadia promised me she’ll take me there one day.” 

His smile faltered and he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of sympathy for his sister-in-law. His sister when she was angry was the last person he’d want to cross and he could only imagine the kind of trouble she was in.

"You really love kites, don't ya?" He shifted her gently so she was more comfortable, holding her close as he tucked a stray curl back. 

Lucia nodded. "Mommy and Grampy won't let me play with their rockets so Auntie Nadia got me a kite. She said I can fly it to the moon.” 

“That’s nice of her,” Lance carefully wiped off chocolate from her cheek with his thumb. “Rockets are dangerous for someone as little as you.” 

“But I wanna be a pilot!” Lucia whined, nuzzling her face to his shoulder with a pout. Lance’s footsteps stilled, his heart in his throat.

“You do?!” he barely kept his voice down. He was walking among the clouds now, he was certain.

“Mmm…” Lucia hummed drowsily, limping in his arms as she finally gave in to the demands of sleep. 

“Ever since she could talk,” Pidge quietly declared, appearing before them with Lucia’s coat in her hands. “She always begs me to take her to the Garrison airshow or to work to see the rockets.” 

He was sure the look on his face was nothing short of sappy. His little girl wanted to be a pilot, just as he did when he was a little boy and just as he already was. At least, once. 

He helped Pidge put on the sleeping girl’s coat, laughing softly as her small head tilted over to the side. Pidge carefully tugged off the half-destroyed flower crown and pins from her curls and Lance gently smoothed out the soft locks. With their heads bent together over their sleeping child, he knew they looked like any couple, completely devoted to their baby.

“I’ll take her now-” Pidge reached for her and Lance stepped back, holding her closer. He flushed at the affronted look she gave her.

“I...um, I’ll walk you to your car. You’ve been hauling wires in heels all night, I’m sure you’re tired.” 

Pidge blinked at him, but sighed and turned on her heel, walking past the few people left still packing up and waving goodbye to Hunk's family. 

On the outside, Pidge's car was not one he'd pin to be a family car. It was sleek, with a carbon fibre finishing and the smooth panels painted a deep emerald. But as soon as she opened the back door, it was piled high with discarded toy parts, sweet wrappings and crumpled children's clothes.

“Sorry you have to see this mess,” she mumbled, pushing aside a few stuffed toys off the backseat to pull the child seat closer. She turned to him, her arms lifted for her daughter. Lance shook his head and jerked his head to the side, beckoning her to step away. He carefully settled the little girl in her seat, strapping on the belt and making sure it wasn’t too tight. He bent forward to gently kiss her forehead, taking a moment to take in all the features of her adorable little face. It felt wrong to say goodbye, even if it was just for the weekend. He should be helping her get ready for bed, read a story and kiss her goodnight. As he reluctantly stepped away, Pidge reached forward to pull Bae Bae from the floor and set the toy on the little girl’s lap. 

“Goodnight, Lance.”  Pidge whispered, avoiding eye contact with him and focused on fiddling with her dress; a beautiful, daffodil yellow sheath that was far more modest than the one she’d worn _that_ night, but did no less in taking his breath away. It was hard for him to not stare at her throughout the ceremony, very nearly missing his cue to hand over the rings as he’d been so lost in her glow. 

“Goodnight...Pi- Katie.” 

She bit her lip, pausing by the open door of the driver’s seat. “Pidge is fine,” she mumbled shyly. She looked as though she wanted to say more and Lance patiently waited for it, but she seemed to rethink it. “And thanks,” she spoke up suddenly, walking from the side of her car to be closer to him. “For being so good to her.” 

“You shouldn’t thank me for that,” he smiled, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. He was grateful it was dark because he was sure he was red as a tomato. “I’m just being her dad.” 

“I-I’m sorry about Veronica. It’s all my faul-”

"Pidge,” he interrupted her, stepping forward to hold her shoulders. He wanted to hug her close, but he was not about to test their boundaries now. “It’s bound to happen. I’m the idiot here for letting her in.”

“Lance, c’mon,” her voice wavered the slightest and Lance’s throat clenched. “Lucia has a family - _your_ family - and I kept her from them. _I_  made that choice.” 

He squeezed her shoulders gently. “Honestly? I _was_ pretty pissed with that choice. I think anyone would be at first.” He glanced over to her car where Lucia hugged Bae Bae tightly in her arms. Her sweet face serene as she slept. “But thinking on it...I’m weirdly glad? You made a difficult decision, but...thinking of all that could have happened... I can’t hate you for that.”

He doubted his little girl could sleep as peacefully as she did now if the whole world knew of her existence; that her father was lightyears away, under the scrutiny of the galaxies. That her every move would be documented by strangers without her consent; that there was going to be the constant threat of danger, no privacy, no freedom to walk the streets without a small army of guards surrounding her. She might not have had a doting father for the early years of her life, but she had a semblance of a normal, carefree childhood. For that, he was grateful. 

“Lance, you can tell me if you hate me. I’d understand,” Pidge laughed humorlessly, hugging her herself as she tended to do when she felt vulnerable. He quickly pulled off his coat, ignoring her protests and draped it over her shoulders.

He looked down at her, hands back on her shoulders. “I’ll admit, I couldn’t think of you without seeing red for a few days but I’m just glad I finally met her.” He dropped his hands when he realized he'd held her for too long and awkwardly ran a hand through his hair. It was odd, talking to his (former) best friend in the stiff way they were doing. “I just want to be a dad. _Her_ dad. I wanted to be one for so long and then it just...happened. Like a miracle. I’m just happy I have a healthy, happy kid.”

Pidge fiddled with the sleeve button of his coat. “It’s a weird thing for me to bring up but… I don’t regret any of this.” Her eyes softened as she glanced back over to Lucia. “She really is the best thing to have happened to me. I didn’t know I could love someone so much.” 

There was a part of him that wanted to say that he already knew what it was like to love someone endlessly, but he knew what he felt for her paled in comparison to the love Pidge had for their daughter. “I don’t either,” Lance smiled easily, tilting his head towards her. “I’m grateful my daughter has you to look up to.” 

Pidge’s cheeks pinkened and he bit back a grin. She cleared her throat and turned her head away, running a hand through her hair. “I...I should get going.” 

“Hey Pidge?” he called out quickly. He licked his lips nervously, tucking his hands into his pockets. “You’re family too. My family. We’re not, well, _legally_ tied together but… you nurtured our baby girl and raised her. We’re not linked by blood but we have her. You’re _definitely_ family.” He was rambling, but his point was made as Pidge’s eyes had softened and he spied a ghost of a smile. 

She nodded and Lance thought he saw the gleam of tears, but she’d abruptly turned away before he could reach for her. 

“Well, um,” she shifted from one foot to another. “Have a safe flight.” 

He smiled and nodded. “Drive safe.” 

Pidge took a few hesitant steps in his direction and stopped before him. She blushed for a moment but in a flash, stood on her tiptoes to brush a kiss to his cheek before dashing back to her car. 

He watched dazedly as Pidge started her car and gave a short wave as she drove off, a dopey grin on his face. As he watched her headlights disappear down the street, for once, in a very long time, he was hopeful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was getting worried people would tire of this story and as I was writing this chapter, that worry grew even more. I hope you guys enjoyed this update though. Would love to hear your thoughts,screams, etc ♥


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